Dark Clouds Overhead
Things have spiraled out of control. I am following far too many blogs and comments and finding it hard to keep up with all the new posts I want to read. I am on too many animal rights, environmental and political lists. Right now I have had a few weeks of migraines nearly everyday and am finding it hard to get myself to Physical Therapy to treat some problems that need addressing. I am losing my temper at my loving husband and he, in turn, is under so much pressure at his clinical social worker job that he is losing his as well. Clearly something has to be done. I cannot stand the person I have become.
This means I will not be posting for awhile and I am not sure how long, or, if this is turning into a bad thing altogether. I will not give up the animal activism and environmental lists because this is one of the few ways I can give to the world. There is a reason I have been on disability for the last 13 years. I have a major mental illness, Bipolar Disorder, and Asperger’s and these take their toll on my life and those around me. So please forgive me if I don’t read all your posts, or read them and don’t respond. I love some of you, and care for many of you, but now have to get my life back. This means more meditation, more Reiki, possibly learning Qi Gong and lots of prayer. It feels too bad right now to stay on the road I am on.
Good-bye for awhile and my warmest regards,
Ellen
MOONSIDE 
Take care. Even if I only recently found your blog. I like the picture very much. You should not feel responsible for internet creatures. They have their own burdens and they will continue to carry them without you. Cancel some lists as you are no computer yourself. Have a nice day and stand upright. Jona
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October 23, 2013 at 10:29 AM
Hi Jona, Good advice. Going to cancel some things right now. Thanks for the visit and the comment. Ellen
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October 23, 2013 at 11:13 AM
I did that too. Now I have way to much stuff in my reader and I have not nearly as much people to follow as you 😉
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October 23, 2013 at 1:08 PM
Thanks for your feedback and good luck! It is hard to keep a balance.
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October 23, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Anytime. I know I struggle with that too. Catering to the needs of others more than my own or the other way around. Hard to get a hang of it.
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October 23, 2013 at 6:46 PM
Yes, that is the problem or part of it at least. Thank you for following my blog and all your comments! Good luck to you.
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October 24, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Ellen my friend, you will be dearly missed but I am happy that you are going to set yourself on a more peaceful path. Hopefully as you put things back in the proper order you will find freedom in heart and soul. All of my love and prayers go with you in your endeavors! Love Stina
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October 23, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Hi dear Stina, Thank you so much for your loving message. You are an inspiration. I will definitely keep up with your blog and a few others. You remain in my prayers, stepped-up prayers. How are you doing? Sending you love and good vibes and hoping something somewhere will help you. Lots of love, Ellen
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October 23, 2013 at 11:10 AM
I will hold you softly in my prayers – find your peace wherever it may lie, dear friend
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October 23, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Oh, dear Soul Paul, thank you so much! I will still be following your wonderful posts. And you will remain in my prayers as always.
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October 23, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Take of yourself, Ellen, and don’t worry about how long it has to take to get to your place of healing. All my love, thoughts and prayers to you and Tom!! 🙂
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October 23, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Oh, Kathy, dear, I am going to be still following you. Thank you so much for your blessings and good wishes! I knew you would understand. You take care, Sweetie! Love, Ellen xxxxooo
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October 23, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Take good care of yourself, Ellen–kind hearts will keep you close in your absence. Sending up prayers for healing and peace. love, Caddo
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October 23, 2013 at 3:49 PM
Thank you, dear Caddo. Hope you stay on your very productive and successful streak. I will be checking in on your blog. Blessings to you in the interim. Love, Ellen
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October 24, 2013 at 4:54 PM
Good choice, Ellen. I have had to cut back with commenting and visiting as it gets too time consuming. Your words may help others to find a healthy balance too. 🙂
Blessings ~ Wendy
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October 23, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Thank you for your comment and blessings, Wendy. I appreciate the feedback– I find it very hard to find a balance that is workable. Blessings to you as well, Ellen, and will still be following your posts.
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October 23, 2013 at 6:46 PM
*hugs* Take care of yourself, definitely.
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October 24, 2013 at 6:48 AM
Thanks so much, Raeyn, and blessings of love to you! Hugs back, Ellen
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October 24, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Take care of yourself.
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October 24, 2013 at 8:45 AM
Thanks so much and good luck to you with all the changes going on in your life. You helped inspire me to make a change.
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October 24, 2013 at 9:47 AM
That’s really good to know! Thanks and blessings.
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October 24, 2013 at 2:06 PM
Oh Dear Ellen, This ain’t good news at all. You’ve done admirable work in support of animal rights and your poems, prose has shown me the world of human tragedies and pains, I never knew much of. But I understand your decision is wise and I pray you recover soon before I miss your new posts. Meantime, please don’t stop taking pictures and writing beautiful poems on nature and life. The world needs it.
Warmest Regards
Your friend and well-wisher from a faraway land.
Arjun
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October 24, 2013 at 9:47 AM
Oh dear Arjun,
Thank you so much!! I need to do this but I hope to return. You took a break and came back more spiritual, more at peace it seems (or am I reading into it?). I don’t know how you keep up with all your fans and you do it so well!! I admire you AND your work. I will keep writing and maybe will get back to photography though I am too discouraged at the moment. I may go back to painting– something soothing for the soul.
Thank you for your friendship– it means a lot to me. You stay well and please take care of yourself.
Warmest regards, Ellen xx
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October 24, 2013 at 10:00 AM
In fact you know me better than ones who know me. Ha Ha…Spiritually, I’ve had my moments lately.
Painting is a great idea, my friend. Do it!!!
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October 24, 2013 at 10:05 AM
Awwwww loving sister Ellen, My heart breaks as i read this post. So sorry to hear your suffering with headaches etc.
My prayers for you and your husband start now! You’re such an inspiration and have endlessly encouraged me. When i see that you’ve liked and commented on my posts it brings a smile and lifts my spirits!
Please take care and know that you’re loved and your life touches many more, more than you’ll ever know!, your loving brother Steve. 🙂
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October 24, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Oh dear brother Steve, how loving is your soul!! I will continue to read your posts. And you encourage me to come back to post again at some point. Your comment is so touching– YOU touch so many, many people and are a source of inspiration to all. Sending love to you and your wife and you are both in my prayers daily, hugs, Ellen
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October 24, 2013 at 1:14 PM
Awww i too am touched by the love you show me and Sarah. I hope you can receive some encouragement through iChristian.
Hope and pray that this cloud moves on quickly!
Take care & peace be with you, Steve 🙂
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October 25, 2013 at 6:37 AM
Thank you and bless you both! Your loving sister, Ellen
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October 25, 2013 at 8:39 AM
🙂
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October 25, 2013 at 10:57 AM
I’ll miss you, but your relationship and rest of mind is much more important thant WP.
Take good care of yourself, and take the freedom to do nothing.
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October 24, 2013 at 6:19 PM
Hi Bert,
Thanks for your comment. I will still be following you. Won’t be doing nothing. Plan to get calmer with more meditation and Reiki and am learning QiGong. Someone in the house has to exert a calming influence (ironic that it would be an emotional Italian) and I have been on edge with computer stuff hours a day, 7 days a week and don’t like who i have become or am. We shall see. So far I like QiGong– can feel the chi. Ultimately I hope to teach my husband so he can calm himself down.
Hopefully it will aid spirituality, too.
Namaste and warmest regards, Ellen
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October 24, 2013 at 9:46 PM
work can have a strange influence on husbands. I know, I am one.
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October 27, 2013 at 1:54 AM
Not just on husbands… I know. I worked 30 plus years in a 9-5 and was sole support for a couple of years. Husband is almost as anxious as I am. And with due cause. Working as a therapist in a social work agency for the poorest of the poor is very hard to say the least. The paperwork most annoying and unrewarding and time consuming. He is open to QiGong though. So we’ll see… But thanks for your comment.
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October 27, 2013 at 9:50 AM
I’m sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time, Ellen. You have ‘self hate’ as a tag; I know how that feels from my own experience. That’s a terrible place to be and a really nasty symptom of depression. Don’t believe what your depression tells you. Be kind to yourself.
(By the way, I too am on a pension and have bipolar type 2)
It seems to me that most bloggers take a break from time to time, it really does become overwhelming trying to keep up with it all.
Sending you all good wishes.
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October 24, 2013 at 6:34 PM
Dear Ashley,
Thank you so much for your comment– that made me feel better. And thanks for sharing a little of your story. Interesting that we have the same diagnosis except I am BP 1 & have Asperger’s, too. I appreciate knowing a little more about you because I have always admired your unusual photos. Will be still following you.
Thanks again for writing, warm regards, Ellen
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October 24, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Thank you, Ellen. Just take care of yourself. x
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October 25, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Thank you, Ellen. Just take care of yourself. x
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October 25, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Take care of yourself Ellen. Hope you will be refreshed by this break, and perhaps we will see you back here when things are calmer, and you can find a way to balance things without it becoming stressful. Sending calm thoughts your way 🙂 x
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October 26, 2013 at 3:43 AM
Thank you so much, Suzy Blue! Have been following your photos and poetry a long time now. Will look forward to doing so again. Thanks for your good wishes and for writing. Take care of your back!! PT exercises really help! xx Ellen
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October 26, 2013 at 8:35 PM
Ellen…I have been having problems keeping up also.
Legs got numb from sitting too much (irritated a nerve, I guess).
Can’t sit too long at the computer. I can stand and type, but that gets pretty tiring.
Others in my family (who get Migraine headaches) say taking Magnesium citrate makes it much better (that’s what I have been told anyway).
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October 29, 2013 at 9:20 PM
Thanks so much, Mary, for your comment. Yes sitting too long can do all sorts of bad things– blood clots, etc. And WP is addictive. It is hard to find a balance– at least for me. Hopefully I will be able to go back to it.
Thanks also for the tip on the Magnesium Citrate. I do use that and it DOES help.
Warmest regards, Ellen
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October 30, 2013 at 5:24 PM
Every good artist/writer/poet needs a break to replenish.
The herb: Feverfew healed me from migraines.
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November 6, 2013 at 10:54 AM
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Genie. I so appreciate it. You give me hope!! I missed you while you were gone and happy to see you back. Am going through a number of things and hope to post about it soon. Forgive me if I miss some of your posts– trying to keep up. *♡*Ellen
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November 7, 2013 at 8:17 AM
Hope all is well, Ellen. Just sending along love and peace, wherever I am. Peace, Ik
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November 6, 2013 at 5:35 PM
Thank you so much, lk. I do appreciate your sending along love and peace more than you can know. Am going through Benzodiazepine withdrawal on my own cold turkey among other things. Not fun. Love and light to you, Ellen
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November 7, 2013 at 8:13 AM