Reactions to a Retreat with Sri Mooji
I went to the Zmar retreat online from New York City a week and a half ago in very bad shape. Was going through withdrawal from a psychiatric drug for Bipolar, having been on it for 20 years, and having a really tough time. But came the Zmar retreat with Mooji, and I entered in desperation, which is actually a good way to start a retreat. Had done an intensive with Mooji before and all sorts of resistances came up and a cleansing, Satsang flu, Mooji calls it. This time was different. Resistance came and went. My body cleansed itself. But there came an inkling, a little doorway into the Self. A peak into the peace felt long ago with Holy Communion in the Catholic Church and in meditation with Yogananda. For whatever reason, those doors closed to me. I wanted a guru who was still in bodily form to listen to and follow.
The retreat started auspiciously. Eager to begin, when the opening ceremony started and Mooji appeared, three separate instances of energy running up my spine told me it would be a good retreat. Mooji places no special value on the Kundalini energy. “Child’s play” he calls it. Still for me it was a sign this was the right place to be.
Up at 3 and 4 AM in the silence of pre-dawn in New York City to hear a 2-4 hour Satsang. And then came back at 2:30 for another 2-4 hour one. Mooji spoke healing words. They were like salve to a gaping wound. He spoke tough words, too, but all was done with great love.
The Zmar retreat was such a blessing. Some parts were rough. And some parts scary when the energy led to intense releases in some people.
The “person” still dominates but so many people in the Sangha expressed feelings and questions like mine. That gave me hope. And some people did awaken. As an added bonus, an answer came with a solution to a medication problem that has had positive results.
The Sangha was wonderful and staff inspirational. I desperately want my heart to open as I see it has in Mooji and his staff. Don’t know that it will. But Mooji’s self-inquiry works to help step back from the self, the ego, the person, the mind. He teaches us to be aware of the tricks the mind plays. His Being meditations bring Presence. If you are interested, he has many videos of Satsangs and guided meditations on YouTube open to all. I offer the one below as an introduction.
I love you so much, dear Mooji. You show such compassion and love. Thank you for your endless patience and outpouring of your magnificent heart. You live to help people find the Self, people tortured by “mind” and the “person/ego”.
MOONSIDE 
wonderful to read ❤
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June 1, 2015 at 1:53 PM
That’s lovely, Bert! Thank you! *♡*
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June 1, 2015 at 8:52 PM
Wonderful, Ellen! I feel very happy for you. I thought given the circumstances of your movement into this opportunity, that the time you spent in this retreat would be nourishing, and it sounds as though it was. I am reminded of time spent preparing for different retreats in my own past, and how sometimes the road to them was paved with real difficulty, but it all yielded in the end to the power of commitment. Sometimes it took months, or even years for what was received to fully unfold in awareness… I don’t say that as a negative or as cause for delay, but as a positive in the sense that heartfelt efforts such as this provide returns beyond what we might think in the moment. So much can happen in so short a time, we cannot process it all immediately. I think your heart is open, Ellen, or you would not be expressing here so fully as you do.
Blessings
Michael
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June 1, 2015 at 5:55 PM
Dear Michael, Thank you so much for sharing my joy and your past experiences with retreats. Oh, yes, there is so much to digest. I have feasted to the point of blanking my mind and now and, yes, maybe years from now a deeper understanding will come. Thank you for saying my heart is open– not sure that it is. A beginning. I know yours is open because it comes across in every post you do and every comment you make. The CIM and CIL must be really something! Thanks so much, love, Ellen
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June 1, 2015 at 9:10 PM
After I read your piece and watched the video, I waited for a moment for a reactive thought to surface in my mind, and which when it came turned out to be simply ‘wonderful’. How pleasing then, to see Bert and Michael begin their comments with this very same word – perhaps some sort of endorsement as to what you have discovered dear Ellen? H ❤
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June 1, 2015 at 7:15 PM
Oh, dearest Hariod, yes, wonderful things happened, still digesting, and I have YOU to thank for bringing Mooji into my life!! That was wonderful! “Thank you” does not suffice. ♡.♡ Ellen
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June 1, 2015 at 9:03 PM
What a gift for you … and for us to hear his words today.
Thank you Ellen.
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June 1, 2015 at 9:51 PM
Yes, a great gift and so glad you listened to his words. Thank you for a lovely comment!
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June 1, 2015 at 10:32 PM
What an answered prayer I’ve had for you my dear Ellen. It’s such a joy when Truth becomes self evident.
Love you yisraela
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June 2, 2015 at 7:55 PM
Thank you so much, Yisraela, now my prayers for you must come to be.
Love you, too, Ellen
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June 2, 2015 at 8:42 PM
Thanks for the video Ellen, and I’m checking his YouTube videos out also. Didn’t know about him. I’m happy you’re back and well. I hope to see beautiful art work soon, when you feel better. Take care.
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June 2, 2015 at 8:33 PM
I send you my love, Ellen, and wish you nothing but peace.
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June 2, 2015 at 9:41 PM
Very touched, Kitt! Thank you so much! I send you love and wish for health and peace for you and your family. P.S. Going to look up your published piece hopefully today.
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June 3, 2015 at 10:26 AM
Thanks!
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June 3, 2015 at 11:50 AM
Any new developments from doctor visits with your son?
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 11:50 AM, MOONSIDE wrote:
>
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June 3, 2015 at 3:59 PM
No. I do not expect answers to complex chronic problems. We will be scheduling an endoscopy to check for damage to my son’s GI tract. We already know what triggers his migraines and are working with both his psychiatrist and neurologist on treating them.
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June 3, 2015 at 5:24 PM
Good that the triggers are identified. There is such an assortment. I hope the endoscopy has good findings.
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June 3, 2015 at 9:48 PM
Yes. Just don’t want there to be any damage.
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June 4, 2015 at 2:50 PM
Hi Ellen, sounds like things are very much more stable at times for you after the rtreat. I watched the video twice and what he says at the end really sums it up for me: “… (discover) silence, peace, a feeling of ‘amness’… the most powerful discovery in the ….” and I can’t quite hear the end. But enough to sense this feeling of the ‘heart’ (chitta), it’s like this. You discover it’s there (here) maybe only for a moment, then you rediscover it later and again and again until (I imagine) it’s always there and you can fall into it any time, and see what’s happening in your thoughts and feelings and see that you have choices…
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June 3, 2015 at 8:18 AM
I think he is saying it is “the most powerful discovery in the human kingdom.”
Thank you for reading my post and your very clear exposition of what happens.
I am still struggling but begin to see an opening into another way of existing that is not new but learning to get back at will is.
Yes, seeing you have choices makes all the difference. Thank you.
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June 3, 2015 at 10:22 AM
I’m very glad for you, Ellen. x o x
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June 3, 2015 at 7:14 PM
Thank you, dear Ashley!! You are most kind. *♡* Ellen
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June 3, 2015 at 9:43 PM
Dear deer beautiful Ellen …how kind and thoughtful of you to share yourself in this tender way … the video is like none other I have seen and I sent to my daughter too …my love to you , to your mind and your incredibly beautiful soul … hugs , megxxx
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June 12, 2015 at 2:39 PM
Oh, Meg, thank you so much. It is so far from how I am feeling. I am totally jammed up. No poetry, no photos, no words, no link to nature. Even connecting with Mooji is hard. I am so glad you liked the video and sent it to your daughter!!! He has many free ones on YouTube. You are the one with the beautiful soul… ♡.♡ Ellen
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June 12, 2015 at 8:58 PM
So many warm hugs to you deer Ellen …I love you
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June 13, 2015 at 5:00 PM
Thank you, dear Meg. You’re so open-hearted. I love you, too. *♡* ellen
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June 13, 2015 at 6:55 PM
Wonderful! Anyway, called in here to offer my thanks for your recent decision to follow Learning from Dogs. Thank you!
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April 29, 2017 at 6:03 PM
Love your blog! THANK YOU!
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April 29, 2017 at 6:34 PM