The Veil of Love
4AMand you a warm lump
under the covers
of Morpheus
and me wide awake
with eyes moist with tears
I write
lest I forget
the vulnerability of you
yesterday
lest one day
you ARE no longer
a day of dread
so locked into desire
for your presence am I
fearful of the future
lest it tears me from you
or me from you
“Until death do us part”
the import of those words
have begun to resound
with a fierce vengeance
now 30 years later
the treasure of you
multiplies like the loaves and fishes
for I fear a famine
not of food
but of your presence
I try to hold each wrinkled emotion
on your face
in a forever place in my heart
lest you be torn from me
Not following the wisdom
of the sages
to live forever in the present
the specter of loss
hangs over me
haunting our life together
And yesterday
when you cried
when you disguised your tears
with embarrassed laughter
your eyes dripped diamonds,
sparkling as they fell
in response to mine
I crying because
there will never be
a happily ever after
at our age
sure as shooting
death will come
and rip us asunder
Perhaps our love
will be born again
in Samsara
but it is a “perhaps”
without a guarantee
My faith is feint
and my heart shudders
and flutters
under the threat
of separation
as you lay
a lump of warmth
in the land of Nod
Our love a fairy tale
in a fierce steely reality
of endings.
*
“Unless we can discover that basic ground of goodness in our own lives, we cannot hope to improve the lives of others.”
Chogyam Trungpa
Chogyam Trungpa
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
MOONSIDE 
Ellen, this is both sad and beautiful at the same time.
❤ Valentine's Blessings to you both ~ Wendy
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February 14, 2016 at 12:14 AM
Thank you, Wendy. Valentines blessings to you and your husband, too. ❤ Ellen
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February 14, 2016 at 11:05 PM
By the way, Ellen, I love your new profile picture—beautiful.
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February 15, 2016 at 7:46 PM
Thank you, I was just admiring yours today and the picture on your blog. Really!!
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February 15, 2016 at 8:32 PM
Beautiful beaitiful. The whole post. x o x
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February 14, 2016 at 1:34 AM
Thank you, Ellen.
Looks like your muse is back! 🙂
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February 14, 2016 at 11:44 PM
No, too busy with life things. A recycled piece that applies even more now. But I appreciate the encouragement.
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February 15, 2016 at 9:42 AM
Also – I like your new gravatar. 🙂
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February 15, 2016 at 12:08 AM
Thanks, Ashley. xx
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February 15, 2016 at 9:41 AM
Thanks, Ash 🙂
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February 15, 2016 at 9:55 AM
Thank you, Ashley, and so sorry 😞 for the loss of your friend!! xx Ellen
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February 15, 2016 at 9:50 AM
The love of sadness …. holding you in my heart ….love , megxxx
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February 14, 2016 at 9:31 AM
Thank you, Meg, and a happy Valentines day 😍 to you! xxellen
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February 15, 2016 at 9:48 AM
And holding you in mine! ❤ ellen
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February 15, 2016 at 9:52 AM
A deep poem, and the image is very surreal, the red in the snow is just very nice.
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February 14, 2016 at 12:09 PM
Thank you, Maria. Good to hear from you. How are you doing? I see you are doing great posts very often. Warmest regards, Ellen
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February 14, 2016 at 11:09 PM
Thank you! I’m doing okay, but my writing went into a hiatus. I was hoping to write mote poetry, but I just haven’t been able to. So, I’ve gone visual with the camera, more so
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February 14, 2016 at 11:15 PM
My poetry has disappeared, too. This was an old piece that applies more now than ever. And camera work non-existent right now. Hope your poetry returns as I was a fan of it.
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February 15, 2016 at 9:46 AM
Thank you, same to you!
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February 15, 2016 at 11:16 AM
so colorful 🙂
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February 15, 2016 at 5:17 AM
Thank you, Joshi! Glad to see your loss hasn’t stopped you.
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February 15, 2016 at 7:12 AM
Thanks for the poem and the photo, it looks like that red/pink got flung on to the background in a Jackson Pollock movement…
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February 15, 2016 at 5:20 AM
Sort of how I saw it, too! Thanks for the visit. I do appreciate it, especially in your current state.
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February 15, 2016 at 7:14 AM
Wonderful, both, Ellen.
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February 15, 2016 at 9:05 AM
Thank you, Richard!! Appreciate it.
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February 15, 2016 at 9:40 AM
Beautiful, haunting. Your love resounds.
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February 15, 2016 at 2:04 PM
Thank you, Kitt! I am so sorry you have to deal with your parents’ real estate. We just had to empty a large apartment and that was bad enough. We have rented our place upstate. Lots of headaches and you need faith that renters will not destroy the place. We heard some pretty bad stories but were lucky with our renters. I know capital gains is a big thing. Lots to consider. Sending prayers for you.
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February 15, 2016 at 5:16 PM
Thank you.
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February 16, 2016 at 5:10 PM
We feel your love and your sorrow both. Beautifully expressed, Ellen. It is so difficult to live in the present isn’t it? We are all of us haunted by the boundaries of this life. Wishing you a beautiful day.
Peace
Michael
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February 21, 2016 at 10:00 AM
Your comment is beautiful about all of us seeing the boundaries of life!! What a spectacular way to put it. Thanks for reading and for writing in, dear Michael. xx Ellen
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February 24, 2016 at 7:59 AM
The words and photo are breathtaking. I’m sorry I’m delayed in getting to this. I’ve been in the hospital. But this post is regal.
Love you Ellen
Yisraela
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February 23, 2016 at 5:59 PM
Oh, dear, Yisraela, are you ok? Do you feel like sharing why you were in the hospital? I know you had some serious health problems. Thank you for your comment. I will pray for you. How are you now??? Love you, too, Ellen
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February 24, 2016 at 7:57 AM
So glad to find your site. This poem says so beautifully what I feel every day as I look at my dear friend and husband sleeping, knowing that I should hold each moment precious. .
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February 27, 2016 at 7:17 AM
Thank you for visiting, LuAnne! So glad the poem rang true for you. Best, Ellen
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February 28, 2016 at 5:18 PM
beautiful
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March 30, 2016 at 5:19 AM
Thank you, Bert!! Just found this!!
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April 18, 2016 at 2:05 PM