The Return of the Animals
I confess to being a springtime scrooge. When everyone else is oohing and aahing over the warm weather, welcoming it and delighting in it, I cringe, knowing that, despite the fact that there are some magnificent days in April, May and early June, Spring is the harbinger of the dreaded hot-humid-hazy, lazy days of summer. Admittedly, this is a terrible attitude and a worse way to think, not living in the present at all.
April may be the cruelest month as T.S. Elliot writes, and I concur in many aspects, except for the return of the animals. Why? Because the animals work their unique and miraculous magic on depressed souls and bring joy. I once read that animals were natural anti-depressants… a very astute observation. How a child’s face lights up with joy to touch an animal or observe one up close. Adults, too, are wooed by their innocence. Animals bring enchantment, enrich our lives. That is why therapy dogs and other animals do such good work in hospitals, prisons, hospices for the dying, wherever there is misery.
The return of the animals brings music to the air, replacing the ominous gale winds of winter and the blanketed silence of snows. Insects hum and buzz. Birds sing and chirp. Windows are opened wide to allow sweet- smelling, soporific breezes to blow through our houses. Little green shoots become beautiful flowers in our gardens, along side roads, in the fields. Trees come to life again, gods of greenery. Fat, red-breasted robins perk up the lawn in their search for worms. And we no longer have to worry about animals starving. The deer we see mid-March in groups, scavenging for food are thin and weak. And the squirrels have run out of their stores as well, raiding the bird feeder which they normally leave to the birds. A late Spring means animals will starve and die with no edible items.
And yet, with all the pleasure the return of the animals brings us, do we welcome them with open arms? No, we fumigate our land and spread pesticides all over their territory. Many species of birds are heading towards extinction due to our use of pesticides and, generally speaking, our “development” of the land. We destroy vernal pools, thinking them mere puddles rather than the breeding place of frogs and salamanders. We take the babies of spring– the lambs, the calves– away from their mothers and slaughter them. Sometimes with abject cruelty, in full view of the mothers. The mothers wail in anguish. We break bonds stronger than the supposedly solid bond of human matrimony that nowadays fails as often as it succeeds.
In The Letter Writer, famed author, Isaac Bashevis Singer wrote: “In his thoughts, Herman spoke a eulogy for the mouse who had shared a portion of her life with him and who because of him, had left this earth. “What do they know–all these scholars, all these philosophers, all the leaders of the world–about such as you? They have convinced themselves that man, the worst transgressor of all the species, is the crown of creation. All other creatures were created merely to provide him with food, pelts, to be tormented, exterminated. In relation to them, all people are Nazis; for the animals it is an eternal Treblinka.”
This is how we repay those who bring us such joy, such love, such purity– those who uplift, save lives, care for us. It has been said that a dog is the only creature who loves his caretaker more than he loves himself. Dogs have it over us in this.
Spring is almost here and, with it, the return of the animals. Let us open our hearts to our fellow creatures and show them the appreciation they so deserve, for without them there truly will be, as Rachel Carson direly predicted, a “silent spring”.
For contributing to Michael’s home for street children in Uganda, click link below picture of Michael and Angie…
https://www.gofundme.com/f/sustainability-support-for-the-makindye-foundation
Last of the Informal Show
These photographs are the last to go to Michaels Makindye Foundation for street orphans and homeless children in Uganda. See reference at end for information and donations…
Some of my India pictures are going as well… see “India” on the blog. One appears below…
Delhi Market
Makindye children
Michael and Angie
Click on link below to see Michael’s charity:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/sustainability-support-for-the-makindye-foundation
Jeepers Peepers
Above: the vernal pool not yet unfrozen and below: the YouTube video to hear the song of the Spring Peepers
It is late afternoon and it is spring according to the calendar although still quite cool. I have just spent the late afternoon listening to “music.” Some have likened it to the sound to bells. Others to bird song. And still others, with unimaginable disdain, to “some kind of nature noise.” For me it is one of the happiest of sounds. The act of creation transformed into sound decibels for all to hear. A sound that comes from the earth and resounds to the heavens, unwittingly praising the Almighty. I hate to leave, and wish I lived even closer to the pond, so that the sound would surround me totally, filling my ears every evening with the sound of perhaps the single-most highlight of spring for me. The siren song of the Spring Peepers.
How have they cast their spell over so many? I cannot say except that their song is uplifting and filled with hope despite the natural perils they face daily. For, as true of all of us, they may die at any moment– say as a meal for a nearby perching crow or underneath murky waters eaten by a snapping turtle. They call for a mate without ceasing, without fear, single-mindedly, without a thought for their own safety. It is nature at its most elemental, in its most singular scope. They all sing out vying to be heard– so many voices. In some spots, I am told, their song is deafening. How nice to be there; I cannot get enough of their sweet music. It moves me to tears– these tiny creatures singing out their heart’s desire.
As I return home to family “situations” and domestic duties, I yearn for the simplicity of their song. Their total fervor. For if they sing then all is right in that small part of the world. Progress has not paved over their pond. Disdainful humans have not drained a “vernal pool.” David Carroll writes about vernal pools in one of his books on turtles called The Swampwalker’s Journal. As the title suggests, Carroll walks through such places in search of turtles and other amphibians. He defines a vernal pool as a pool of water that fills up in Fall and Winter and freezes, swells in the Spring and often dries up by end of Summer. But a vernal pool is utmost a place of magic, not only where turtles lurk, but also where mating frogs deposit gelatinous eggs, which turn first into tadpoles, and then, later, become frogs. Vernal pool habitats hold a galaxy of small things that come to life the instant ice and snow turn back into water. And after a requisite series of warm days, followed by spring rains, on the first dark night, vernal pools become the site of the “salamander night.” Salamanders leave their hibernacula to go for a night of endless mating and then return to leaf litter in the woods to disappear for the rest of the year. Some people, who know nothing of vernal pools and their function, deem them a nuisance, a “big puddle” to be filled in or drained. Some people know little of spring peepers except that they are “noisy,” “like some sort of insect.” (Poor insects being made out to be the pesky lowest of the low.) The natural symphony of hormonal, harmonic sounds sometimes falls on deaf ears.
And when, after finishing my evening chores, I try to read, I find the haunting sound of the spring peepers deep within my psyche, making me restless and anxious and wishing to be at that pond, surrounded on all sides by their sex song, inebriated by the unbridled joy in the air, immersed in the utter power of nature manifesting in one of her gentler forms. In the song of the Spring Peepers nature celebrates life-to-be rather than taking lives away. For most of all the song of the Spring Peepers is a song of tremendous faith, faith in love, and faith that love will propagate and new life will emerge untouched by the often destructive hand of man.
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To read about and/or give to Michael’s foundation for orphan and street children in Uganda, click on the link below the picture of Michael and Angie:
http://www.gofundme.com/f/sustainability-support-for-the-Makindye-Foundation
Informal Show… paintings and photographs
In May the art work below will be going to Michael’s home for homeless and street children in Kampala, Uganda, The Makindye Foundation. For more picture links and information on donations etc. click on link below…
http://www.gofundme.com/f/sustainability-support-for-the-makindye-foundation
(Click on all images to enlarge)
“Bontecou Lake”, Millbrook, New York (Photograph)
“Wildflowers by the Roadside”, Millbrook, New York (Photograph)
“Weeping Willow”, Lucasville, Ohio (Photograph)
“Reflections of Hills” Millbrook, New York (Abstract watercolor)
“Sunny Hills” Millbrook, New York (Abstract Watercolor)
“Trees in Winter” Millbrook, New York (Photograph)
“Moonlight” Millbrook, New York (Photograph)
“Sunlight over Trees” Millbrook, New York (Watercolor)
Some of the children in Michael’s Makindye Foundation…
(see link at top)
Synchronicity
The Oxford dictionary describes “synchronicity” as “the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.”
Wikipedia has a longer definition: “Synchronicity (German: Synchronizität) is a concept first introduced by analytical psychologist Carl G. Jung “to describe circumstances that appear meaningfully related yet lack a causal connection.”[1] In contemporary research, synchronicity experiences refer to one’s subjective experience whereby coincidences between events in one’s mind and the outside world may be causally unrelated to each other yet have some other unknown connection.[2] Jung held that this was a healthy, even necessary, function of the human mind that can become harmful within psychosis.[3]“
As a Bipolar 1 woman who was not diagnosed, let alone medicated, until I was 28 years old, my life was full of synchronicity. I was working as a clerk in Columbia University libraries, cataloging art books. My family did not “believe” in psychiatry nor in mental illness. I kept everything secret from them until I could no longer, when I had my breakdown at age 28. At that point I went for emergency care to the Columbia Counseling Service and was told to stay with my family for a week or go to hospital. I was lucky enough to be able to go to my parents for a week . I had begun therapy with the psychiatrist I would wind up staying with until age 74. But at the time I was all alone. I had a best friend from grammar school who was living in France at this time. She and I corresponded every week. We remained close until she died at age 39. I had a few friends at work, but I lived alone and was isolated. And I became psychotic at times. Synchronicity ruled my life. Parts of a song on the radio, or a program on the TV, a man singing in the street… they all had special messages for me. I thought of people in the street as “teachers” for me to learn from and the people who worked with me, as “mystics,” who understood me, and who were trying to train me.
It was exhilarating when the teachers were happy with my progress but terribly depressing when I did wrong. There were “signs” for me to interpret all over the place. And at work, I regarded every book I catalogued as something that held secrets to help me get mentally well or learn truths about life. I would do my job faithfully, most of the time, but while doing it, I was on the constant look-out for special messages meant for me. I did what I called “readings”. I would find some lesson in each book. One book I was working on held a special secret about the womb and the egg and the sperm uniting and becoming a zygote. I pictured the uniting of the egg and the sperm as fireworks. (Thirty years later, saner and married and actively creating art, and, writing a newspaper column upstate on the side, I created an abstract photograph called “Conception”.) But in the library, I did what I called “time travels.” I didn’t talk to people much during this period. I listened to co-workers and street people, read extensively and deciphered messages. People would come up to me at work to actually talk to me sometimes, to be nice, I guess, and I would leave the world of the womb, and zygotes or some such thing, and talk to them normally as if I were in their world. I was not!!
In other words, to put it in professional terms, I was WACKO!
That is all behind me now and fortunately, though I have had some hard times, but they have occurred within the realm of a marriage, to be 35 years long this May. It has offered me the only stability and deep love in my life. Gone is the world of readings and messages. Gone is the synchronicity. Sometimes I miss it but not the craziness that went with it. Now I have more meaningful, everyday experiences of sanity. There are still some epiphanies, but not like the old days.
Before I close I must add, there was at least one incident that was truly synchronicity… that was not delusional… that felt distinctly like a message from God, the Universe. I was working at my desk and suddenly my scalp felt prickles all over it. I grew alarmed and so decided to go to the reference room for one of my “readings.” Clearly this warranted research. I went to the Reference Room of the library and found a one volume encyclopedia which I pulled off the shelf. In order for the reading to give answers impartially, I had to open it at random and then put my finger on the page. So that’s what I did whilst my scalp prickled. My finger pointed to a picture. It was a print of Christ with a crown of thorns. I was stunned. I felt like it was a message from God. And to this day I think it was. It was a message of hope and love.
Yesterday I wrote to a fellow blogger, Anneta Pinto-Young, at Devotionalinspirations.com, who is a Social Worker and a Christian Minister and recounted this story briefly in response to her post on coincidences in her series on “Hearing God Speak.” She told me something very wise. She said that religion and science have always clashed over these type of things. Sure, I was delusional for much of the time, but I did have occasional experiences like this one. And, she said, that was God sending me a message of his love and encouragement. I felt that then and I feel it today.
Maybe I don’t need the secret messages any more. God’s word comes through friends now and most definitely through my long-suffering husband.
What can I say but look out for synchronicities and see what message there is for you.
Energy of Spirit, Life of the Mind and a Sense of the Ineffable
What does the magnetic energy of the earth have to do with the mind and spirit? Well, as it turns out… EVERYTHING!
Hypnosis, creative inspiration, meditation, mysticism– all of these states have something in common. They are all related to states of mind with the same pattern that have been measured by scientists to be found in the alpha pattern of brain waves. The alpha state.
There are 4 states of consciousness. First there is the beta state or normal waking consciousness which is measured by scientists at 13-30 herz or cycles per second. Herz is the measurement for 1 cycle per second. 13-30 herz is associated with the everyday state of awareness. There is the theta state of dreaming which is measured at 4-8 herz or cycles per second and the delta state of sleep at 1-4 cycles per second. This is associated with sleep and dreaming along with the delta state. Then there is the gamma state which weighs in at 25-80 herz. This state is associated with when the brain is hard at work in the waking state. And finally there is the alpha state of consciousness at 8-13 herz or cycles per second, peaking at 10. This is the state that we will focus on here. It is the state present during hypnosis, creative inspiration, meditation, mysticism and religious states of awareness.
The alpha brain wave pattern resonates with the magnetic rhthyms of the earth which also are most concentrated at 10 cyles per second. Here’s the thing– states of mind in the alpha state are vibrating with the same rhythm as the magnetic rhythms of the earth. These alpha states have long been associated with meditation, spiritual states, mysticism and A FEELING OF ONENESS WITH ALL!! Scientists differ as to whether or not humans are affected by the magnetic rhthyms of the earth. It seems to me that the feeling of oneness, the feeling of the ineffable and unity, is experienced in alpha states due to its synchronicity with the peak magnetic rhythms of the earth. Think of how synchronous feelings of oneness occur when the mind listens to music or pulses to the beat, witness a beautiful sunset or engages in religious ceremony.
We are talking of a feeling of oneness with all, unity with the earth. Eastern religions, in particular Hinduism, talk about oneness with all, unity. As my Indian friend, Anjali, has told me, Indian temples have long been built purposely on places on earth where the magnetic energy is strongest so the temple visitors may feel the energy. And Indians are instructed to wear silk to temple because it is a strong conductor of energy. In addition, the YouTube video, “101 Amazing Facts about India, the Indian population and Indian Culture” put out by FactsNet, says that Indian temples have copper plates to absorb the energy of the earth. The spirituality of India is the energy that is in synch with the rhythms of the earth. These bring about a feeling of oneness, closeness to God and all nature. The Hindus plug into the feeling of oneness with nature and the earth because their brains are sychronized to the rhythms of the earth. I have talked about nature as it relates to religion very often with my private guru, Sachin. For Hindus energy is all important. Because our minds cannot really easily fathom praying to energy, there are many Hindu gods and also no “head” god as Christians believe in a personal God. It is hard to think of praying to energy. I connect through nature and think of God as a personal God just to pray to “Him” but I believe Energy is our God. That is just my thing. Things that bring on the alpha state connect to the earth, connect to the Energy of the earth, connect us to our apprehension of the holy.
It seems ironic that in this day and age, with the scientific developments and advances that have been made, we know so little on the nature of man’s waking state of consciousness… so little on the potential of the human mind in altered states of consciousness. ASC’s include some of the highest states of mind known– creativity, higher consciousness, cosmic consciousness, religious and mystical states, peak experiences. Out of such states of mind come some of our greatest achievements. We all can share in this greatness, taste the sublime, through alterations in the waking state of consciousness. People feel their lives profoundly changed for the better by what Maslow has termed “peak experiences.” And people best able to accept death are those who have experienced transcendence. And for well over millions of years, people have spent centuries passing on written and oral traditions down through the ancients, ideas on consciousness and the need to develop higher consciousness, isn’t it time for the rest of us to pay heed ?
The Trees of Winter
Every year what budded in autumn, blossoms full blown in winter– my love affair with trees. Trees that were drop-dead gorgeous in their fall colors are now bare, with the exception of evergreens and a few stray deciduous trees that refuse to relinquish their leaves. Now the trees are stripped down to their souls and their souls sing a siren song to the universe.
The tops of trees lift my spirit; brushlike they paint the sky the baby pinks and blues of mornings, and the majestic magentas and violets of day’s end. Each tree has its signature shape against the sky, like a fingerprint or a snowflake, similar yet each unique. Some treetops in their bare state are shaped like a fancy coiffure; others look like wrought iron filigree. On distant mountains, against the snowy ground, some look like stubble on an old man’s unshaven face.
It is the colorful winter sky showing through, and showing off, the bare branches that woo me. The bare curvaceous branches are stark, dark lines against the bright of day and the inky sky of night. These resplendent creatures are living lines that explode. Branches tangle like the lines in a Jackson Pollock painting. Others curve in the sensuous lines of a Brancusi sculpture. Buxom tree trunks stand strong surrounded by their dead blossoms and their burgeoning offspring like a Renaissance Madonna. In truth these trees are not like art at all. Rather art imitates them– their beauty provides the timeless inspiration for artists, writers and poets of all ages and styles.
Trees not only inspire, they themselves are paragons of diversity. One look out of a car window while driving on the Taconic and one can see squat pines alongside towering majestic firs, birches interspersed with maple and oak. And together the different brown and tan barks interspersed with evergreens create not only a mosaic of contrasting colors, but display an example to inspire humans to live together in peaceful unity.
These beneficent beings carry the heavy, dark grey clouds of winter. When it snows the tree trunks become canvases for the abstract patterns of windblown-snow, while the serpentine branches are outlined in white. In ice storms their branches become chandeliers, each enveloped in glassine ice, tinkling in the wind. While in the melancholy of a winter rain, the branches become oiled skins of snakes weeping to the ground below. And finally, in the night sky, the branches hold the stars in their arms, those with leaves holding them in their hands, as they nurse the moon.
All trees, no matter what their species, age or height, stand tall in proud humility, their arms reaching up to the Heavens to our Creator in prayer– soft-spoken beings of peace and tranquility towering over us, while the little creatures race around distractedly below.
Beings of Light
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December is my favorite time of year. In this month of darkness, in this the darkest month, the light of the human spirit shines forth in a fullness shown by so many, in so many ways. As the days grow shorter in North America, houses and trees are decorated, and snow falls. In the hushed silence of the nights, lights shine in windows, and the beauty is shared by passersby. For this season of giving brings the festivals of lights: Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Diwali. Each tradition incorporates light in its ceremonies and decorations.
A neighbor friend of mine who lived down the road, a donkey in his stable, reminds me of the story of another manger over 2000 years ago. And seeing him snug in his stable with snow on the ground gave the illusion that all was right in the world. But all is not well. Thousands know no peace in any season. Millions are cold and starving. Racism and religious wars prevail. Climate change advances in leaps and bounds, faster than most predicted.
Those who live closer to the land are especially blessed. They share their lives with animals who are constant reminders of humility and simplicity in this rapid, complex, multi-tasking world. They can drive around on a December night and see houses covered in lights with illuminated trees, houses warmed by fires, filled with laughter and conversation and love, and feel blessed. Blessed to have so much when others have so little. Blessed to be able to celebrate as they wish when others cannot. Yet even those living in the worst conditions show the light of the human spirit and celebrate the season of light in personal ways. For the human spirit is indomitable.
Einstein said: “A human being is part of the whole, called by us the ‘Universe”– a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and feelings, as something separated from the rest– a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” We are all cut from the same cloth and our inner light unites us.
In December’s darkness we light lights. For we are beings of light. A light glows within each one of us. And, at the most basic level, we are beings of light because we are made from stardust. Perhaps that is why the stars hold such majesty for us– we are all—Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu, African, whatever– we are all made from star material.
And in this holiday season we behold the night sky as Christians say shepherds did over two thousand years ago on the birth of the holy infant, in a stable like the one down the road where my donkey friend lives. On that night they say a star lit the whole sky to guide the shepherds to the stable of the infant, Jesus, the son of God.
In these deep, long, silent nights as we light our houses, our candles, our trees, let us look inside ourselves and find the glow that may guide us each, alone but akin, to THE Light!
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A Growing Movement on WordPress
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My blog started out as a mental health blog because I am Bipolar. I started it to showcase my book on Amazon, “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” But I found little interest in mental health subjects and the blog soon morphed into a forum for my nature columns, photographs and paintings, recording the beauty of nature, trying to best describe and display God’s creation. Recently I have found that there are those who have used this platform to set themselves up as self-proclaimed experts, putting down others’ religious leanings and telling readers what they should do with their lives and what they should believe. In all fairness, everyone is entitled to say whatever on this platform although I don’t appreciate pornography which occasionally appears. Most bloggers have been tremendously responsive and I thank my many followers for their prayers during my husband’s surgery in whatever religion they subscribe to and their following. I thank them wholeheartedly and will not forget them. But recently I find posts putting down the religious practices of others. These comments and blog posts seem judgemental and possibly intolerant. Someone actually wrote all meditation is self-hypnosis, arguing against the many religions that use this in their practices, saying to follow his guidance. This sort of arrogance is astounding to me, and seems unduly prejudiced specifically against Hinduism. Another blogger told me to go out and heal the world… never mind that I no longer believe in the healing power of some alternative medical practices, have a major mental illness and am a recluse due to limited mobility. I had always thought WordPress to be a generous forum but apparently the growing conservativism across the planet has meant it is now okay to tell people what to do and how to live. I think in times of such utterly dreadful conflict and anger between peoples around the world, and in the spirit of the holiday season, we should refrain from such divisive comments. So to my 1, 120 followers, I am not following WordPress for awhile. I am really disheartened by these developments on this platform. I may visit to look at the posts I follow… or not. But I will think long and hard about posting again.
May you all be blessed this holiday season!
The Height Of November and Giving Thanks
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A chill wind blows the yellowing leaves off the trees. They drift down to the ground like giant snowflakes. The air is pregnant with the feel of the coming holidays. Fall has truly come with the sudden drop in temperatures, a full 20 degrees cooler than a week ago. This is the real Fall, no mealy-mouthed disguised Fall, but a Fall that will guide us into winter appropriately. November appears as a mirror image of March. November is the vibrant color of decay while March is the decaying color of about-to-burst-forth Spring.
The birds are at the bird feeder all the time now. They are not stopped by our presence when we come to fill the feeder or blow leaves under it. Nothing stops them. They swoop around the feeder and the surrounding trees like Kamikaze pilots, darting here and there recklessly. The squirrels are in a frenzy as well, stock piling and burying acorns and walnuts which they will retrieve without fail in a month or so in a snow-covered land.
The trees are most beautiful for me at this time of year, when many of them are bare and a scattering of leaves remain on dark brown branches. The leaves that remain on the trees blow on the limbs with dainty grace in their precarious positions. Yet these are the survivors. The other leaves have fallen and gone the way all living things eventually go. Most trees have lost all their leaves and they stand in stark contrast against the blue sky, the stormy sky, even the night sky. They are perhaps most beautiful at night, like arms reaching up to the darkness trying to grab at the stars twinkling between the branches. Moonlight dances on their limbs.
November is the last glimmer of color and in some places the color seems to be predominantly yellow. A carpet of yellow lines the woods now. And now one can see inside the woods, so dark and impenetrable in summer. Some forests have carpets of oak leaves– dark brown tan in color. Or there are forest paths with variegated colors– vibrant crimsons against yellows and faded greens and tawny tans. The unmown lawns are now taken over by the spiders and, at moments, one can see a world of webs covering fields that only appear in a certain slant of sunlight. It is the silent take over of the spiders before the snows come.
The yellow, the brown, the crimson leaves are complemented by the ubiquitous yellow, brown and crimson mums that appear on the roadside near mail boxes, on porches or along driveways. These tough little flowers withstand frosty chills and stand tall throughout most of November. Hearty souls and so giving in their colorful, velvety splendor.
The Halloween pumpkins begin to sag a bit or shine with wetness as if encased in glass. They will soon be tossed, pine combs and wreathes and fir swags will take their places, and the season of lights will begin. Like a child I am filled with anticipation of what is to come although all the spiritual guides teach us to live in the moment. I try to live in the moment all Autumn for as a season it seems the fastest to come and go. I try to hold each moment in my hands as a treasure but they all sift through my fingers like grains of sand. Then Christmas comes and fades in a flash and we are into the Nor’Easter blizzards of January. Another year is gone. The years do go faster as you grow older. Every one has their favorite theory why this is so. I think it is “to-do” lists. They rob us of time as we run around like Kamikaze birds or frenzied squirrels to check things off. And our reliance on calendars. We turn to mark things in our appointment books months ahead of time effortlessly flipping through the seasons with a flick of the wrist. It is no wonder time flies. We are in August and planning Christmas. I am fighting this in November with half the Fall gone: “Stop! Stop!” I try in vain to wish time would stand still so we could be in forever Thanksgiving/Christmas. But, being human, we would soon tire of that. It is good we are defenseless against time.
We go about living our lives, trying against our natures to treasure the good moments. Now in November, at Thanksgiving, it is our time to say thank you. Inspired by the Native Americans let us thank the earth. Let us say thank you to the trees for their constantly changing beauty, to the stars for their piercing presence in the night sky, to the leaves for their inspiring colors, to the sun for its life-giving power, to the Spring for its awakening hope, to the Summer for its warm, thriving growth, to the Fall for its bounty, to the Winter for a time of renewal, to the snow flakes for their hushed, white silence that transforms our world, to the animals for their pure souls, to our families and friends for their love, and, lastly but mostly, to the Higher Power of our belief.
Happy Thanksgiving and may you each be blessed with the all embracing, pervasive Love in nature.
And They All Fall Down… and Become Just a Memory… Too Fast… the Scintillating Colors of Fall…
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Photographs on Exhibit in the Iraqi Desert
Although totally against the war in Iraq… part of history now… I wanted to do something back then. I somehow found this organization that sent things to soldiers in Iraq and other places. I think the organization is long gone but my memories aren’t.
Use slider to see photos. I wanted to put music to this and unfortunately the pictures repeat but my computer skills don’t include how to do and fix those things in posting so this will have to do to give some idea of the show just plain and simple.
*****
There was no Iraq war when my husband and I bought a tiny, old converted dairy barn in Stanfordville in Dutchess County, New York. But it was in the works. After moving upstate, we were involved in our own little lives, falling in love with the scenery of the area. As a photographer, I started taking photographs all the time. The landscape was so beautiful, I must have taken hundreds of photographs of animals and trees and enlarged many of them thinking I might get a show one day. Well, I wound up having many small shows in little bookstores and restaurants and office buildings, even exhibited in a group show in a gallery in New York City– but none was like this one!
The Iraq war was in full swing when we were upstate. It killed me to have all these photographs sitting in bins in my studio. I loved the subjects of these photos, the countryside of the Hudson Valley and its animal denizens, and wanted to share the beauty.
And then one day a voice inside said, “Send the photos to Iraq.” I researched organizations sending comfort items and necessities to Iraq and found two. Neither said anything about sending photographs but one said something about soldiers requesting posters. I was thinking “Anjolina Jolie type” posters but when I inquired, the responses were encouraging. So all excited, I sent off fifty of my nature photographs of scenes from Dutchess County to the two organizations.
Life intervened and I forgot about the photos. Until the founder of the organization, Give2theTroops.com, wrote me three emails, the email below, a link to the thank you note from her husband in Al-Anbar, Iraq, and on the following day, photos of my photos in Iraq. I had never heard of Al-Anbar, Iraq. Now it is unforgettable.
*****
From: “Andi Grant”
To: “Ellen Stockdale
Subject: A HUGE thank you and hug.
Date: Saturday, March 01, 2008 7:42 AM
Ellen, I sent over several of your beautiful photography pieces, but I was waiting for a group in a desolate area with NOTHING on their walls.
As it turns out, that desolate, remote group ended up being my husband’s unit! (Sgt. Brian Grant, U.S. Marine Corps) who arrived in Iraq not too long ago. He and his Marines live in mud sheds, with NO toilets and NO showers, and they must urinate and defecate in bags and then burn their waste!
The nicest part is when he told me, “Andi, I opened the box and there were all these BEAUTIFUL photos that I hung up allover our walls. We must live in the most luxurious shed ever! ( I sent them each pillows, sheets, etc.)
They have ugly bare walls with graffiti on them and I believe a few bullet holes to from what I could tell in his photo. Their only window is piled high with sandbags to keep any enemy bullets out.
I personally packed the boxes with your framed photos in them and am so happy they did not get ruined!
So I wanted you to know it made my day to hear Brian got boxes which I packed him, that my idea of sending him the photos was well accepted and that you were willing to do this for our troops! You made a lot of troops happy as I am sure those photos will stay on for incoming troops after Brian leaves.
I’ll see if Brian can send a few photos of your photography on the walls … They are very busy so I am not sure if they have time, but the next time he calls me, I will ask him, okay?
So thank you again, Ellen!
Love,
Andi Grant
*****
Then Andi Grant sent me the link to the website where the following letter from her husband appeared…
“Dated 28 February, 2008IraqDear Give2TheTroops (Connecticut Branch),
We received another 7 boxes from you! Wow! I put all of the toiletries on the large table in the bathroom and I put up the cards from Xerox in our hallway and above all of the toiletries. I opened the box which was full of great snacks. I was throwing the guys beef jerky, gum, candy, trailmix, and sunflower seeds non-stop. I told them to bring the snacks on the road with us each day so I could get some. I took a few bags for myself but I gave the rest away. It was so much fun! I gave G2TT brochures to several guys who are leaving soon but will be deployed in the next year or so. I also put the box of snacks out in the eating area and put a sign saying that all of it was donated by G2TT.Thanks also for all those great pillows you sent us. We are so appreciative! We also loved the large framed photos that were sent by photographer Ellen Stockdale Wolfe. Those went right up. Our walls are dirty with spider/ cob webs and various Arabic writing in the hall and other places. The pictures really make the room come to life and make it cozy. Some of the photos look remind me of the places I ride my Harley. It really makes things nice. Our only window is piled with sandbags (to prevent bullets coming in) so at least we see the outside and “home” with those photos. We took a photo with the Connecticut State flag in honor of all our supporters there and we all signed it and we’re sending it back to you to hang up!If you can, please send us children’s clothing, school supplies and small toys for all the children we see. Thank you so much for all you do for us and ALL the troops over here in all branches of service.Love,BrianSgt. B.H. Grant and our Marines from PTT 23 PTT Team 23U.S. Marine Corps”
My husband noted that in the photos Sgt. Brian Grant sent, he had selected the peaceful water scenes to display. Not surprising given their living conditions.
I plan to send more photographs. Now they go to the Vets from that war.
If anyone is interested in contributing anything to the men and women overseas, the website explains how and what is needed:
Beginnings & Endings
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No one in my family liked summer. Probably because we lived in New York City and summer is not fun there. Moving upstate changed all that– up to a point…though I must admit to a weakness for those beautiful June days when the temperature reaches perfection, the sky is blue with fluffy clouds, and a soporific breeze wafts through the trees. And true, one has much more time with the four or five extra hours of sunlight. Still in all, when the first hints of fall come I am bordering on ecstatic.
First there is the change in light. The sun, still hot in mid-September, does not pack the punch it did in July, when one could be outdoors for an hour and come in with a change in skin color. Temperatures cool. The grass does not grow as fast. The “blood” of the trees starts to flow back into the trunk causing leaves to change color. Walnuts, acorns and apples fall. The bats leave for warmer climes, giving us yet another chance to plug up holes inside to keep them outside next summer. Ads start to appear in early August for “Back to School” specials, bringing the butterflies, that were so rampant outdoors in August, inside the stomach of many a child. Even adults are not immune. Many grown people feel the flutter of back-to-school anxiety come fall. After all September means “back to school” for many, many years. Time to “honker down” again and mean business. Fall offers a new beginning and there is a tinge of excitement added to the anxiety in facing something new.
And most of all, fall is a time of riotous color, when a walk in the woods finds one reveling like a drunk, besotted by the yellow, orange, crimson, russet world which our eyes imbibe like a hefty cocktail. It is a time when Italian comes to the lips in a loud “Que bella!! (“How beautiful!!”) The green of summer is bucolic and raises the spirit, but the many colors of fall intoxicate. People start talking of peak color, and leafing becomes the pastime of many. It is the time to plant bulbs and endlessly rake blowing leaves.
But fall is a time of melancholia, too. Flowers die. Reptiles go into hibernation. Insects die or overwinter. Songbirds migrate. Trees eventually loose their leaves. Anxiety over new beginnings can be uncomfortable. And the end of the lazy days of summer brings with it shorter days, longer nights, and possible depression for many people. Moments of sobriety seep into intoxication with the new world of color as we may remember loved ones who can no longer share the beauty…who can no longer enjoy those cool, crisp days in September when coolness brushes the cheeks… days so coveted in August. For autumn is a celebration of endings, too, perhaps best described by the French poet, Guillaume Appolinaire, in his poem Autumn:
A bow-legged peasant and his ox receding
Through the mist slowly through the mists of autumn
Which hides the shabby and sordid villages
And out there as he goes the peasant is singing
A song of love and infidelity
About a ring and a heart which someone is breaking
Oh the autumn the autumn has been the death of summer
In the mist there are two gray shapes receding
The World Wide Web
The light is changing
I am dreaming of
an approaching Fall
but Mum is the word
I am dreaming of
the once spring green
of a Sugar Maple
turning shades of orange and yellow
Of the earlier sunsets
of mid-October
the time of un-mown lawns
the time of year
when spiders rule
out in the open
covering the fields
with the spiders’ secret
appearing only
in precious moments
a world of webs
that appear only
in a certain slant of sunlight
I have yet to capture
and they reveal a silent take-over
by the spiders
in webs that sparkle
secretly
silently
mirroring
the infinite web of creation.
Sounds of Summer
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Coming out of the winter silence– a silence so deep that one can hear the sound of one’s own nervous system– slowly nature’s musicians warm up in Spring. Gradually they gather and by summer we are hearing the full orchestra of the wilderness. There are so many sounds, one might talk of layers of sound.
Distant sounds waft through the air like a bank of clouds floating towards us. We hear the raucous cry of a murder of crows flying over some carrion far off in the forest. We hear the dogs down the road barking at some intruder into their world. From deep inside the dark woods comes the unmistakable throaty call of a turkey. And from the field across the way, the cooing of a dove.
And then the sounds of nearness, so familiar perhaps we no longer notice them: The wind blowing through the dark green summer leaves, each type of tree with its distinctive rustle. The chirping of sparrows and other frequenters of the back yard. The whine of a pair of grackles. The frequent complaint of the ever-present blue jay. The crystalline voice of a yellow warbler singing an aria. The plaintiff cries of a gaggle of geese flying far above. While in a nest under the eaves fledglings squeak waiting to be fed.
Bumblebees buzz across the lawn, miraculously defying gravity with their weight and size. They mix with the menacing whirr of wasps in a huge nest overhead. Flies and mosquitos hum literally in our ears as the occasional vibrating zum of a humming bird, jewel-like in the sun, flies around in the Joe Pie Weed. Dragon and damsel flies whizz by and hover in the air, occasionally even landing on us. All this reaches our ears above the constant background drone of crickets and cicadas.
As the day progresses, the late afternoon brings the intermittent twang of wood frogs hidden in the bushes, calling to each other from all directions. It seems we are surrounded by wood frogs and tree frogs who have replaced the frenetic, unceasing peeps of the spring peepers. Bird song reaches a crescendo and then dies down to silence for the night. The day sounds are replaced at night by the haunting hoo-hoo of a very close, but invisible, owl. The occasional crying baby sound of a bobcat cuts through the cricketed silence, and in the full moon the poignant howling of coyote fills the black night air, illuminated by silent fireflies.
And then there are the sounds of man and his machines. Noise pollution. Lawn tractors, airplanes, cars on the road, all terrain vehicles, weed wackers, motorcycles, trucks, lawn mowers, steam shovels. The list continues and grows in strength drowning out nature’s sounds of summer. With natural habitat dwindling, all the creatures of the wilderness are dying out or moving to last holds of their breeding grounds. Villages have become cities, masses of land covered in concrete and asphalt and steel, punctuated by tiny pockets of manicured nature.
Certain species of frog are becoming extinct around the world. The bee populations are dwindling leaving us to wonder who will pollinate the flowers. And the songbirds are dying out. Conservation biologist, Bridget Stutchbury in her book, Silence of the Songbirds, says this is partially due to habitat loss and predation but she believes the real culprit is pesticides. She says we are losing barn swallows, Eastern kingbirds, Kentucky warblers, bobolinks and wood thrushes. Pesticide can kill 7 to 25 songbirds per acre of application. As Stutchbury says we can stop this destruction by buying local and organic produce, in-season food and shade-grown coffee. As she points out, the balance of ecosystems is at stake because birds eat the caterpillars that fell forests. “If you take birds out of the forest, bugs are going to win.”
Though the current state of affairs looks grim there are activities one can do online to safeguard the future of the wilderness and its inhabitants. On one website you can click for free every day to give food and aid to animals. The address is http://www.animalrescuesite.com. On other websites, if you click on the “take action” button you can become involved in lobbying for animal rights and conservation of the wilderness with a modicum of effort, signing a letter, for example. And although you absolutely don’t have to, you can always make a donation. A select group follows …
http://www.sierraclub.org (The Sierra Club)
http://animallegaldefensefund.org (The Animal Legal Defense Fund)
http://farmsanctuary.com (The Farm Sanctuary)
http://www.peta.org (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
http://humanesociety.org (The Humane Society)
http://defendersofwildlife.com (Defenders of Wildlife)
Add your voice to the sounds of summer, speak for those who can not, and insure the future of the symphonies of summer.
Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
Spring Green Intensifying
(Click to enlarge)
Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
Our Prehistoric Visitor Returns
Last year I wrote about our special visitor, Shelley, who has appeared in our driveway around Memorial Day for the past three years to lay her eggs in the exact same spot. Shelley, to introduce her once again, is a large snapping turtle with a muddy, mossy shell and a long jagged tail. In my ignorance the first year she came I tried to save her from getting run over, while all the time unbeknownst to me, she was trying to find the right spot on the side of the road to lay her eggs. Good-natured, she took my meddling in stride and only gently snapped once after the third time I had returned her to the marsh out in back of our house in a snow shovel. Only then did I realize what she was up to. Shelley communicated simply and without malice. Shelley was a class act.
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Every year, according to some inner time mechanism, Shelley would come early in the morning to lay her eggs in the swale in the corner of our driveway. A big snapper, she, majestic in her reptilian grandeur. Her shell measured (yes, we measured it) 13 inches, but like all snappers her head juts out of the shell about 4 inches and her spiked, dinosaur-looking tail adds on another 5 inches or so.
This year we checked our driveway early each morning worrying as trucks barreled by dangerously close to where she has laid her eggs in the past. Days went by. No Shelley. Judging by the size of her shell and the speed of her gait, Shelley was not young. Each year we saw her Shelley was walking slower and slower. We wondered if she made it through the winter.
In addition, in the early spring her pond was dug up and drained by the new owner to make it deeper and with each dig of the steam shovel we imagined our snapper being snapped up.
Memorial Day came and went and each day was sunny. Shelley liked overcast days to lay her eggs. The very last day of May was a perfect day for laying eggs, overcast and humid. We checked our driveway. No Shelley. We checked up and down the road. No Shelley. My husband didn’t say anything but disappointment and worry were written on his face. I was feeling worried, too.
We held our breath and waited. And then…
We first noticed her at 6:30 in the morning and watched her as she spent the next 3 hours or so looking for a suitable spot to lay her eggs, digging a hole for them, and then depositing them in the hole. She picked the same spot she picks every year after much mulling around and searching.
It was a delight to see those mighty claws dig a deep hole and then the back feet dig deeper. She rested for awhile and we took pictures which she did not seem to mind. Then we left to give her privacy and the back of her rocked from side to side as she deposited the eggs.
Normally she takes a hair-raising walk crisscrossing a somewhat busy road and I accompany her to make sure no car hits her. But this year she surprised us yet again and took the safer route across our back yard, after a few false starts (stopping at our front door).
Though she could have taken an easier route in our yard, she followed a stream in back of our house following a logic that has worked for 200 million years. Maneuvering over large rocks and crawling between crevices that looked impossibly narrow, we were not sure she could make it home and were wondering how we would rescue her.
We were the fools. She arrived triumphantly and magnificently in her exhausted state in the marsh on our side of the pond and quickly submerged herself under the mud until she was no longer visible, a living submarine.
After her departure we felt sad. We can only assume this brave lady made it home to her now-deeper pond having survived despite the hand of man and the worry of her next door neighbors. The brilliant naturalist and “turtle man”, David M. Carroll, explains the tinge of sadness we felt after seeing Shelley lay her eggs when he writes in his Self-Portrait with Turtles: a Memoir: “The furtive turtles were utterly silent in their nesting, but the sandy fields and road edges somehow seemed to go quiet with their departure.” Shelley’s departure meant a break in our one-sided bond with her and David Carroll sheds light so poetically on our experience of loss when he writes of his relentless study of turtles: “Through these children of the sun’s dialogue with the earth I could continue to pass out of human time and place and enter the soul of the seasons.” That was Shelley’s gift to us.
Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
From Realism to Abstraction
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Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
The Beauty of Humility
Clapsed in prayer
Unfolding in silence
Bowing down to the Creator
(Click to enlarge)
Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
MOONSIDE 
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