Welcome to samples of my writing showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.”“Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness. While not a lesson plan it documents my therapeutic journey to finding love against all odds. Useful for therapists, and for patients with Bipolar Disorder and/or Asperger’s Syndrome. A scholarly, autobiographical case history of my story was the showcase article in vol. 13 no. 1 of Psychoanalytic Inquiry in 1993.
Learning to love is an ongoing process and I am writing posts on new lessons learned.
All the original abstract painting is posted to advocate for Bipolar Disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome– for it is those very handicaps that feed my art. The more realistic nature art is dedicated to raising consciousness for animals and the environment. All other art work is purely for your enjoyment.
Finally I have also posted selections from my nature writing and poetry. My nature essays were published in a small paper in upstate New York for a year and a half. The poems have appeared throughout my life, coming and going as they please.
This is an award free blog.
All work on this blog is under copyright and may not be used by anyone, for any purpose, without permission.
It is the school-imposed end of summer, Labor Day weekend has come and gone and I am looking forward to Fall. It is not good to be this way. Ideally one should be living in the present… for that is all we have. I have yet to overcome my way of thinking to that which the sages and avatars preach.
A breeze shimmers through what I call (in my ignorance of the real name) the penny tree for when the wind blows the leaves look like so many pennies shimmering down from Heaven. The sun is so hot it tingles on the skin– yet it is not the strong sun of July that burns quickly. The angle of the sun in its diurnal slant is different. Summer is definitely slipping away.
The bees, wasps and yellow jackets are having a heyday in the goldenrod, Joe Pye Weed and Purple Loosestrife. The marsh is thick with flying insects going this way and that. My eyes capture swallowtails. Happily the monarchs are still here. A turkey vulture circles overhead. Some carrion must be nearby. Earlier we saw two golden hawks fly sunlit into the back field. A wisp of a cloud floats by in an otherwise perfectly blue sky. This summer has flown by in the blink of an eye like a fritillary flits by the flowers in the marsh.
The smell of fresh cut lawn is intoxicating to my raw senses. Soon the grass will cease to grow and the lush green will look washed out. All of its inhabitants in the metropolis beneath our feet will dig deep underground or turn off their bodily systems to overwinter– an amazing concept to a mammal. Some fill their bodies with a type of antifreeze. Nature never ceases to astound. This summer I have made my peace with the insects. Terrified of them as a child I have come to love and respect them, indeed hold them in awe for the feats they accomplish. Our accomplishments pale as humans, supposedly so superior.
No longer do I see turtles sunning on rocks or snakes coming out to bask in the heat of the road. Some species of birds have left already– unbeknownst to me. I just know that some I used to see are gone and the bird song of the spring mating season is a fleeting memory. One lone humming bird flies around the marsh intermittently, causing frantic excitement upon spotting him.
It is the time to dead head the flowers of summer. It is the time of Black-Eyed Susans and Peonies and Sebum. And soon it will be the time of the Mums.
With each gust of wind yellow finger-like walnut leaves shower down on our heads– like large yellow snowflakes– a foretaste of snowfalls to come. The sun’s shadows grow long as twilight is near. Soon the white cloud “lions and tigers and bears” will retire into the black cave of night. And the summer will die and in dying, give birth to fall. The comfortable rhythm of the changing season beats in our sometimes unhearing hearts.
"God shows His handiwork in the beauty of creation, but doesn't reveal that He Himself is hidden there."
Paramahansa Yogananda from Self Realization Calendar “Inner Reflections” November/December
I know many will not even read this post because of the title. Others will dismiss me as “crazy” or “overdramatic.” But if I can help even one person with my message, it will not be in vain.
One day, when I was in my twenties, when I was in my librarian job at Columbia University, I was cataloging an art book and my scalp felt prickly… even painful. I was doing “readings” then. These consisted of opening a book at random to find meaning for whatever I was experiencing or perplexed about. So I went into the reference room and pulled down an encyclopedia to see what It would say. I opened the book to a random page and pointed my finger to a word with eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, I found a small dictionary-like image… a picture of Christ with His crown of thorns. Right away I knew it was a message from God. I knew God was with me. This happened 50 years ago but I never forgot it. Now it sends me the message that God is always there even when it seems we are all alone. I will never forget this. It fortifies me today. It was not to be dismissed as the ravings of a crazy person as I said. I am quite sane today, on meds for forty years and married to a psychiatric social worker. He would be the first to see the signs.
God speaks to us in quiet ways. Silence, contemplation, meditation connect us to God. As Yogananda says ” God is shy.” We have to look for him, seek Him. He is always ready for us, waiting for us to come to Him. He is always there for us. He awaits our attention. He wants our love. He will not leave us alone in our predicaments of life. He is always there for each and every one of us. God dwells within us in our souls. Next time you feel alone and abandoned by all, perhaps think of this story. One of billions upon trillions.
“Spread your mind from the moonbeam-visible objects to the dim stars and distant skies lying beyond in the eternal stillness of the ether, all throbbing with life. Watch the moonbeams spread, not only on one side of the earth, but everywhere in the eternal region of your spacious mind. Meditate until, in the cool moonbeams of your calmness, you race over trackless skies and, in realization, behold the universe as Light.”
“Metaphysical Meditations” by Paramahansa Yogananda p. 87
I thirst for the taste of Divine Love again that I seem to remember having as a child. I yearn to get acquainted with God. As an adult, “getting to know” God as a person never occurred to me. I was too busy with supplicatory prayer– a one-way conversation and, as such, not a conversation at all. Or I prayed prayers of Thanksgiving but never enough for all I was given. Yes, childhood prayers were better but they are long gone.
Sister Draupadi of Paramahansa Yogananda’s Self Realization Fellowship first introduced me to the idea “of getting to know God” in her talk on “Prayer is a Conversation with God”. I listened to her talk a few times. I prayed a lot but my prayer life entailed prayers for the hardships of life, protecting people, praying for “good” outcomes… I never thought to become acquainted with, if I may say, the “personhood” of God. Yes, I said prayers about his attributes but never said, as Sister Draupadi suggests we say, “I want to know all about you, God” or words to that effect.
Yogananda says God is shy. Quite a few times I have looked deeply into the eyes of my psychiatric social worker husband who is very shy and on the Spectrum and thought I saw God in him for a flicker of a moment. They were profound experiences, gone in a few seconds. Yogananda says God wants our love but He wants us to give it freely.
“With the sharpness of my will I tore to shreds the stifling chrysalis of ignorance.”
“Now I am a butterfly of eternity, gracefully sweeping thorough the empyrean. Bespangled with whirling galaxies, in joy I spread my Nature wings. Behold my deathless beauty!”
“Cut the dark threads of thy shrouding fears, O my brothers! Follow me in the flight to Him.”
from “Whispers from Eternity” by Paramahansa Yogananda… P. 251
Connecting the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda with the Schumann Resonance bridges ancient Vedic science and modern geophysics. While Yogananda lived and taught decades before the term “Schumann Resonance” became popular in mainstream wellness circles, his teachings on Om (Aum), the Cosmic Vibration, and brainwave states align perfectly with the concept. Here is how his spiritual philosophy intersects with the Earth’s natural frequency: 1. The Cosmic Vibration (Aum) and the Earth’s Hum Yogananda taught that the entire universe is created from and sustained by a primordial, intelligent vibration, which he identified as Aum or Om (the Cosmic Sound). The Spiritual Side: In his book Cosmic Chants, Yogananda explained that by chanting and meditating, a person tunes the “radio of their heart” to this underlying cosmic rhythm. The Scientific Parallel: The Schumann Resonance (7.83 Hz) is a literal electromagnetic “hum” or heartbeat generated between the Earth’s surface and the ionosphere, triggered by lightning strikes. It is the baseline vibrational background of our planet. Mystics and meditators often view the Schumann Resonance as the physical, planetary manifestation of that cosmic Aum vibration. 2. Brainwave Entrainment and Kriya Yoga The fundamental Schumann frequency of 7.83 Hz sits right at the border of Alpha (8-12Hz) and Theta (4-8 Hz) brainwaves. Alpha/Theta States: These frequencies are scientifically associated with deep relaxation, high creativity,superlearning, and profound meditative states. Yogananda’s Techniques: The advanced meditation techniques Yogananda taught (like Kriya Yoga and the Hong-Sau technique) are designed to calm the nervous system, slow the breath, and switch the brain out of high-stress Beta waves. When a yogi enters a state of deep, breathless stillness (Samadhi), their brainwaves naturally drop into the Alpha and Theta zones—effectively synchronizing, or “entraining,” with the Earth’s 7.83 Hz heartbeat. 3. “Tuning the Instrument” Yogananda often used the analogy of a radio. If your mind is full of restless, chaotic thoughts, your “receiver” is full of static, making it impossible to hear the divine melody. ”Gradually the subconscious repetition [of the mantras] will change into superconscious realization, bringing the actual perception of God.” — Paramahansa Yogananda
“Meditation” by esw
Modern proponents of the Schumann Resonance say something very similar: in our world of concrete, Wi-Fi, and artificial EMFs, we get “de-tuned” from the Earth. Practicing Yogananda’s meditation techniques is a way of clearing that bio-electrical static so your body and mind can return to their natural, grounded state of harmony.
( A Gemini summary of my research on Altered States of Consciousness and alpha brain rhythms 50 years ago and “finding” Yogananda 20 years ago and my following his practice now.)
“I take a sacred vow: Never shall the sun gaze of my love sink below the horizon of my thought of Thee. Never will I lower the vision of my lifted eyes to place it on aught but Thee.
Never will I do anything that reminds me not of Thee. Actions springing from ignorance lead to nightmares. May I weave only sweet dreams of noble achievements, for they are Thy dreams.” ~ Paramahansa Yogananda
from “Whispers from Eternity” by Paramahansa Yogananda, p. 115
“At dawn and the opening of lotus buds, my soul flower softly unfolds to receive Thy light. Each petal is bathed in rays of bliss. The early breezes waft the perfume of Thy presence.”
From “Whispers from Eternity” by Paramahansa Yogananda” p. 81.
The leaves shed raindrop tears for much of April and the same rains brought forth the blossoming Dahlias in Andrew’s garden. Soon their petals will wilt and shrivel with old age and other blossoms will replace them just as our bodies will wilt and we will shed them like so many shriveling petals…
and we will go home for awhile
only to return for more lessons to learn on the school of earth.
“Inwardly think constantly of the Beauty behind flowers; the Light behind the sun; the Life that twinkles in all eyes, that beats in every heart.”
Paramahansa Yogananda
The Epitome of Humility
Ko-ko in her later years… one of my best teachers
You open our eyes to the Infinite with your soft-brown one-eyed stare, your gentle, pink-tongued kisses and your deep, dark velvet ways.
You open our hearts to Eternal Love, joining in our displays of affection, cringing at discord in dire dejection, Oh, Love-Dog with a failing heart!
You work your love-magic on all you meet with a willful wag of your toy-like tail. You soothe us in sorrow and defeat with the soulful "ear" of your single eye.
In your own pain, you have comforted us. Losing Dad you licked Mom's tears. Mom died and your kisses brought me back from the shrieking world of grief and fear.
And you are getting old, as I lie beside you bed, my nose nuzzling your greying head, inhaling your sweet doggie scent, I feel the fragile flutter of your tender heart.
Lulled by the hum of your delectable delight, warmed by your love, touched by your joy, filled with awe at each breath you take, I see in you God's mystery of life.
(Ko-ko died in 2000 sending me a vision after her death)
"Exploring the Spiritual Cosmos in the Digital Universe," "Harmony Beyond Boundaries in the Digital Realm," "Your Gateway to Infinite Wisdom in the Digital Universe," "Connecting Consciousness Across the Virtual Cosmos," "Discover Divinity in the Digital Universe," "Where the Spirit Meets the Digital Frontier," "Empowering Inner Growth Through the Digital Universe," "Digital Universe, Infinite Spiritual Possibilities," "Awakening Souls Across the Digital Horizon," "Navigating Spiritual Journeys in a Boundless Digital Universe."
MOONSIDE 
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