A Personal Look at Autism Spectrum Disorder
THANK YOU, Tina Brown, for your guest essay to the New York Times. (See below) My husband, of 35+ years, and I, like your son, are on the Spectrum and have other mental health issues at ages 71 and 74, respectively. We feel the bewilderment and intense-to-the-point-of-unbearable emotion that Gus Walz showed at the DNC while applauding his Dad, often in our own daily struggles with neurotypical friends and neighbors. My husband forwarded your article to me amidst a struggle I was facing at my age with a friendship! Yes, the worst time for those of us on the spectrum is not during our school years! It comes afterwards. My husband and I are among the lucky ones, blessed by God to find each other, and to be given the ability to help and console each other. My husband is a retired Psychiatric Social Worker, who helped many of the disadvantaged mentally-ill in his job, as I helped him help them, and as we help each other daily. Coach Walz, we, and all neurodivergents, need you and President Harris to win for SO many reasons, and, among those, to champion the cause.
Guest Essay to the New York Times by Tina Brown
Ms. Brown is the author, most recently, of “The Palace Papers: Inside the House of Windsor — the Truth and the Turmoil.”
My Son and Gus Walz Deserve a Champion Like Tim Walz
Aug. 23, 2024
The sight at the Democratic convention on Wednesday night of Tim Walz’s 17-year-old son leaping to his feet, with streaming eyes, a hand to his chest with a cry of “That’s my Dad” was heart piercing.
As the mother of Georgie, a 38-year-old on the spectrum who still lives with me, I recognized him immediately as one of “ours,” a sweet, unfiltered, slightly bewildered-looking young man who wasn’t quite sure what was expected of him in this epic moment of political adulation.
Gus Walz has, according to his parents, a nonverbal learning disorder, A.D.H.D. and an anxiety disorder, all of which they regard not as a setback but as his “secret power,” that makes him “brilliant” and “hyperaware.”
I know exactly what they mean. One of the joys of my life in the social churn of New York is living with a son whose inability to read the room makes him incapable of telling anything but the truth. Once, as my husband, Harry Evans, and I left a pretentious social gathering in the Hamptons, Georgie told the host sunnily: “Thank you very much. No one spoke to me really, so it was a very boring evening. The food was OK. I doubt I will come again.”
“I have never been prouder of you in my life!” shouted my husband in the car. How many times have all of us wanted to say that as we gushed about the fabulous time we just hadn’t had? Then there was the moment he went up to Anna Wintour at one of my book parties and asked if she was Camilla Parker Bowles. And the time at the intake meeting for a supported work program, when the therapist asked Georgie, “Has anyone ever molested you?” “Unfortunately not,” he replied. Georgie teaches me every day how much we depend on social lies to make the world go round. His sister — his forever best friend — and I feel so lucky to have him in our lives. So did his dad, who died in 2020.
And yet for people who are different and have no support, the world can be bleak. Their loneliness can be agonizing. Some people assume the school days are the hardest, but it’s the years after that are the social desert. Having a friendly, forgiving workplace to go to is critical. It’s often their only taste of community and what makes them such reliable and rewarding employees. The work from home movement has been a killer for people with special needs, often depriving them of the only social connections they have.
There’s something of a trend at the moment for certain businesses to say they encourage the hiring of people who are neurodivergent. Sadly, it can be just virtue signaling. Employers like to think that a person who is neurodivergent is some secretly brilliant introvert who writes code in his apartment all day, not the more likely candidate: an awkward kid with a gentle smile who takes time to get the hang of things and talks too much about the same subjects.
One of my son’s quirks is that he likes to wear bandannas and nail polish, and tends to say so in the first five minutes of every job interview. More often than not he’s told that no, that would not be “appropriate.” Appropriate? Being inappropriate is the very definition of Georgie’s condition, and for his family, his most treasured trait.
The most painful thing for a parent is to pick up on the scorn of strangers that her child often doesn’t notice; the whispered insults or titter at the next table. Remember Donald Trump Jr.’s sneer at the 2023 Conservative Political Action Conference? Referring to Senator John Fetterman’s struggles to recover after his stroke, Mr. Trump said that Pennsylvania had “managed to elect a vegetable.”
“I’d love for John Fetterman to have, like, good gainful employment,” he continued. “Maybe he could be, like, a bag guy at a grocery store.” Is it possible to go any lower than that?
But how could Don Jr. be any different from his father? The elder Donald Trump has never missed the chance to denigrate people with disabilities, and already the MAGA crowd is mocking Gus Walz’s emotional embrace with his dad. “Talk about weird …” the conservative media ghoul Ann Coulter posted (and later deleted).
If the Harris-Walz ticket wins, will parents of people who struggle with being different at last find a powerful advocate in the White House? This voiceless community is in desperate need of a new, mighty champion. Coach Walz, you who have been such an inspiring role model to kids all your life, and were caring enough to offer your own credibility to the role of faculty adviser of a new high school gay-straight alliance. I urge you: please make this your cause.
MOONSIDE 
One more reason to make sure they get into the white house and everyone vote blue.
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August 29, 2024 at 12:31 AM
They HAVE to!! Absolutely HAVE to!!
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August 29, 2024 at 6:16 AM
I agree. We HAVE to.
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August 29, 2024 at 9:52 PM
Love to you and your family. Gus Walz is my hero.
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August 29, 2024 at 1:21 AM
Thank you, Cindy, and love to you and yours. The Walzs seem like such a wonderful family and, yes, Gus Walz is our hero, too.
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August 29, 2024 at 5:48 AM
Wonderful xx
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August 29, 2024 at 3:01 AM
Thank you so much! 🥰
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August 29, 2024 at 12:33 PM
This kind of people mostly have never been treated well everywhere. When I came to Canada for living I was surprised how many people all the time saying: “I don’t care”. And they really don’t care about everything, surrounding people included. This is why people who are neurodivergent the last in their list who they care about. Fortunately, there are a lot of people who nevertheless take care of people with special needs. I know that from my experience with one of my grandson.
Let’s hope that a person will appear in the White House who will be able to somehow change the situation.
God bless your Family!
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August 29, 2024 at 8:48 AM
Thank you so much, Alexander, for your perspective on neurotypical people and how they are treated. I am glad your grandson is getting the help he needs. When I was young, they didn’t know about people on the spectrum. Now people are a lot more enlightened Still there is a long way to go and, yes, we are hoping for someone who will take on the cause of neurodivergency. Blessings to you and your family and thank you for writing in. It means a lot!
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August 29, 2024 at 9:02 AM
You are very welcome, Ellen.
Have a nice day!🙏🙂
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August 29, 2024 at 9:11 AM
You, too, Alexander! 🙏🏽
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August 29, 2024 at 9:13 AM
Thanks for republishing Tina Brown’s guest essay to the New York Times, Ellen. I could only read the headline in my NYT newsletter. Very illuminating and sharing from a parent’s perspective. Coincidentally, I’m reading one of her books now.
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August 29, 2024 at 10:58 AM
Glad you got to read the post. I don’t know her writing but was very impressed with this letter to the Times. I think she was editor of the New Yorker for awhile. What are you reading of hers? Thanks for stopping by.
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August 29, 2024 at 12:12 PM
Tina Brown was editor in chief of Vanity Fair and The New Yorker as well as the Tatler. I’m reading her Palace Papers now, which is more entertainingly insightful than I expected.
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August 29, 2024 at 12:18 PM
Oh, will have to look into her writing. Thanks for the info.
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August 29, 2024 at 12:25 PM
Heartwarming! I cannot begin to imagine the enormous struggles faced by someone who is ‘different’ from the expected mode of ‘operating’ in society…It requires tremendous courage and inner strength for anyone to be who they ‘really’ are- even when they are not neurodivergent. Our world is not often a kind and loving place for those who are different. We need to have more compassion and learn from all the differences we can find among ourselves. It cannot be easy navigating the complex established often pretentious and misleading, social norms. My sincere wishes, love and admiration go to all those who find themselves in a position to genuinely be able to ‘live’ their truth, with honesty and bravely, with and without choice.
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August 29, 2024 at 11:50 AM
Thank you so much for your beautiful reply, Ramble! I guess it is human nature to be afraid or turned off by anybody a bit different. So many disparaging comments about the Walz family! They seem to me to be super loving and accepting. Just read one of your blog posts and reread a couple of old ones. So much sanity and sense and clarity in a very inclusive way! 🙏🏽
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August 29, 2024 at 12:09 PM
You are always very kind Ellen! I am grateful for your presence here 🙂
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August 29, 2024 at 12:17 PM
Thank you so much, Ramble. You’re very kind and down to earth. Gratitude!😊
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August 29, 2024 at 12:24 PM
I think more people should see both of these perfect and heartfelt pieces. Can I possibly get this on an email so I can send it out? Lana
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August 29, 2024 at 12:46 PM
Oh, Lana, so glad you enjoyed both pieces. I loved Tina Brown’s piece. I think I can retrieve both. Will look now.
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August 29, 2024 at 2:04 PM
The unfiltered joy expressed by Gus Walz, that night at the DNC convention brought me to tears so I was saddened to find out that the next day some on the far right put him down for it. I’m looking forward to a time when neurodivergent people can get the respect and support they deserve…maybe with a Harris Walz win. I’m glad you posted this Ellen.
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August 29, 2024 at 2:14 PM
Julie, thank you so much for writing. What moved you to tears was a display of family love one rarely gets a chance to see. I was so impressed with it. Yes, the far right comments were totally upsetting!! And no surprise! Praying for a Walz Harris win here too… desperate for it. Thanks again. 🙏🏽
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August 29, 2024 at 2:34 PM
🤞Fingers Crossed!
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August 29, 2024 at 3:02 PM
Yes, 🤞
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August 29, 2024 at 3:20 PM
How wonderful that you write about this, Ellen. How truly painful it is for a parent to watch how your child is looked at with disdain or how they don’t want to communicate with him because he seems strange to others.
My daughter recently told me that she has felt strange all her life, not like everyone else. Although it is very difficult to determine how this is expressed.
Her emotions are always at such a high degree, they go off the scale, she often cries, undermining her health.
And I still don’t know how to really help her in life. My heart aches for her.
How I wish people were kinder and more tolerant of others.
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September 14, 2024 at 12:55 AM
Oh, Ubit, I am so sorry. Will she not say why she feels different? I am sure you have talked to her or tried to. Does she she say what children have said to her? Children can be so very mean. Yes, I wish people were kinder and more tolerant. Maybe she might tell you why she feels this way. I am so sorry you and she have this pain I your life. You sound like such a good mother and you take on her pain. I hope that you can determine why she feels this way. How old is she? Might she benefit from therapy? I feel for you both. ❤️
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September 14, 2024 at 7:15 AM
Thank you, Ellen, for your support and sympathy.
We talk a lot and I hope we get to the bottom of it. And she is not considering therapy yet. She says she doesn’t have the strength for it. She is already an adult – she is 20 years old, she studies at university, but because of such characteristics, every day is like a battle. It is a painful way of life. I feel very sorry for her. She herself says that she wants people around her to be kinder, but she perceives them as aggressors who want to offend or say something unpleasant.
I wish the world were more humane.
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September 14, 2024 at 8:22 AM
Has she thought of talking to a professional about her feelings? It could help a lot but I know people have biases against therapy.
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September 14, 2024 at 3:20 PM
Unfortunately, she says she can’t find the strength to do this.
But we return to this issue periodically. I hope we can find common ground.
Thanks for your support, Ellen. Unfortunately, she says she can’t find the strength to do this.
But we return to this issue periodically. I hope we can find common ground.
Thanks for your support, Ellen. 🧡🙏🧡
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September 14, 2024 at 6:14 PM
I will pray.🙏🏽❤️
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September 14, 2024 at 6:24 PM