The Grace of Presence
Oh, God,
your gentle breezes
caress my physical form.
I have been sick,
Pill sick
Mentally sick
Soul sick
for so long,
Overwhelmed by fear,
selfish concerns,
physical ills.
What has changed today?
How come today
I can see beyond the self
To the Self?
Is it so mundane
as to be due to a coolness waft of air?
Or is it a taste of infinity?
A wormhole to your realm?
An undeserved dollop of grace?
You are inside always
and yet so often I cannot feel you
at all!
And I lapse into despondency,
anxiety,
preoccupation with the self,
the person,
the ego.
Why today can I see Thee
In the galaxy of stars within?
Why today?
How can I keep this view
Of you?
Despite problems, illness,
please take me over,
please let me see
Thee daily within.
Please let me love you
and all who live
with wild abandon
and the diamond dazzle of compassion,
without restraint.
Tears cleanse
make amends
for my many sins,
Oh, Zephyr of air,
wafting with the perfume
of the Divine
that permeates
all.
Please stay
forever in my heart,
and blow away
fears and tears
and usurp
the self forever!
MOONSIDE 
Beautiful both, Ellen!
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June 20, 2015 at 11:05 AM
Thank you, Richard!! Not receiving notifications of your new posts. Will investigate again!! Much appreciated, Richard!
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June 20, 2015 at 6:24 PM
Nice to see artwork from you again both verbal and visual.
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June 20, 2015 at 12:46 PM
Thank you, Maria. Very much appreciate your support!! *♡* Ellen
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June 20, 2015 at 6:26 PM
A beautifully poetical orison Ellen, for which many congratulations. H ❤
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June 20, 2015 at 1:31 PM
Thanks so much, Hariod, and you taught me a new word! 💜 Ellen
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June 20, 2015 at 6:27 PM
Me and my new words eh? I thought ‘prayer’ didn’t quite fit the bill to be honest. H ❤
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June 20, 2015 at 7:57 PM
Your word was perfect. Thanks for the lesson. 💜 ellen
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June 21, 2015 at 7:19 AM
Simply beautiful, both the photograph and the poem. Wonderful to see your art and read your words once again. Welcome back.
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June 20, 2015 at 2:03 PM
Dear Kitt, Thank you so much for the welcome back! Means a lot from you. Hanging tough. You especially might appreciate this. I threw out a gift someone I don’t like all that much because I thought all the bad things happening were from bad vibes from that gift. A little paranoia? Maybe. One of my husband’s patients committed suicide. A high profile case. My husband could lose his job. A mammo scare for me but it turned out fine. Things like that. Well I am glad the gift is gone!!! You sound like you’re doing well.
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June 20, 2015 at 6:22 PM
This year I got both a 3-D diagnostic mammogram and a sonogram because of a lump. I have dense breasts which are always lumpy, so each year I’m a bit anxious going in. I am so very sorry your husband lost a patient to suicide. Tragic. As you know, we cannot control someone else’s behavior. It’s not your husband’s fault.
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June 21, 2015 at 12:49 PM
So do I. Once I had to have fine needle aspirations, not fun. No, it is not my husband’s fault. Hope the hospital directors will agree. All they care about is covering their asses. I was fond of this guy, too, that is how much my husband spoke of him. Hope he is finally at peace.
On Sun, Jun 21, 2015 at 12:49 PM, MOONSIDE wrote:
>
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June 21, 2015 at 2:55 PM
Ellen, I will keep your husband and you in my prayers. No doubt your husband’s client is in peace. I pray for more peace in your and your husband’s life.
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June 22, 2015 at 1:19 PM
Thank you so much, Kitt!!! Pray for you and Matthew and Nick every AM. How is your son doing? He is so young to suffer so much and, of course, it is hard on all of you. Hugs, Ellen
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June 22, 2015 at 2:25 PM
He’s taking incompletes since he was sick last week (finals began Friday). He will take his missed exams over the summer.
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June 22, 2015 at 4:27 PM
Bummer!
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June 22, 2015 at 6:54 PM
That was raw and tearful.
It made me reach out in my heart to comfort and hug you.
Ellen my love I send.
Yisraela
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June 21, 2015 at 5:03 AM
It was actually supposed to be a happy prayer. A moment of Presence. I totally appreciate your caring and love and send mine back to you. Are you doing okay? Love, Ellen
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June 21, 2015 at 7:18 AM
Just lovely, Ellen.
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June 21, 2015 at 6:43 AM
Thanks so much, Sue. Much appreciated, especially coming from you.
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June 21, 2015 at 7:15 AM
Hugs, Ellen ❤
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June 21, 2015 at 7:16 AM
Big hug back, ellen
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June 21, 2015 at 7:22 AM
Beautiful art and poem, Ellen. I remember reading about an experience called the dark night of the soul. That’s what I call those periods of time when God seems absent, and yet I know He never leaves us. Faith hangs onto those intimate moments when it seems as if God has pulled away. The tide of His Love always returns to wash over us.
Blessings of peace ~ Wendy ❀
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June 21, 2015 at 3:39 PM
Well, it has certainly been a dark time. Withdrawing from a major psychiatric medication I was on for years. It’s really tough. But thanks so much for writing your encouraging comment! 💐 ellen
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June 22, 2015 at 6:57 PM
Wonderful, Ellen. x o x
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June 21, 2015 at 9:07 PM
Thank you, Ashley!! Hope you’re doing okay. Your work is certainly flourishing! ♡.♡ ellen
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June 22, 2015 at 6:58 PM
Thank you, Ellen. 🙂
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June 23, 2015 at 3:11 AM
Hi Ellen,
When I read this I was really, really happy for you. I know you have hung in there faithfully awaiting the moment when grace would show its face. Your writing here was beautiful, but more beautiful was the honest yearning of your heart. May you dwell in this richness continuously… Perhaps that seems an unreasonable desire, but we can hold to it together. Step by sacred step we navigate the mine fields of history, pain and perception, but we are given these glimpses of what is ever there, when these phantasms temporarily fall away. It is what is true… Always…
Blessings
Michael
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June 23, 2015 at 8:16 PM
Thank you so much, Michael. Thank you for sharing my happiness and your kind, encouraging words. I had grace once and then psychiatric meds took it away. Withdrawal from an antipsychotic is a very big deal and a new med needs time. But I have now hope. And this quest is all important. Perhaps most important because then all will fall into place. Thank you again, dear friend!
Love, Ellen
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June 25, 2015 at 8:40 PM
Dear , deer Ellen …a beautiful expression of grace …thank you for reminding me thru your words , these poems and the way words live and die in a moment is a great mystery , a mystery within love that is a beautiful blessing ….I’ve missed you and am so grateful you are writing again …hugs ,your friend , megxxx
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June 24, 2015 at 10:00 PM
Dear Meg,
Thank you so much for the welcome back and your kind words. Not sure I’m back but trying. Hugs back, dear Meg. xxoo Ellen
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June 25, 2015 at 8:45 PM
nice use of abstractness 🙂
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June 28, 2015 at 5:14 AM
Thank you, Joshi, for your comment!
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June 30, 2015 at 1:26 PM
The cry of the soul for its creator is a beautiful thing and very much a part of the spiritual journey, your post expresses this beautifully, Ellen.
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July 28, 2015 at 5:20 PM
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment, Genie!! Much appreciated, especially from you.
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July 29, 2015 at 2:04 PM