It’s 4 AM and I Miss You

It’s 4:27… 4:28… 4:29 AM

and I miss you

I hope to God you’ll awaken

and bring me coffee

and tell me something funny and I will laugh

and you will be so pleased to see

someone “get” one of your thousands of spontaneous jokes.

I miss you…

you with the beautifully streaked-with-grey, fuzzy hair

and hundreds of lines, going up, down and sideways

around the corners of your shy blue eyes.

You don’t know I am awake

missing you… your suddenly taking my hand

in yours and holding it on the sofa as

we silently watch our country self-destruct.

I hope to God you’ll awaken and all will be okay

for another day

for it is not promised

for it is not guaranteed

Nothing is.

The wonder that is you

that I found so many years ago

after being alone for so long and through so much.

Unadulterated joy you bring me

as I worry about your every breath

God keep you in his arms

and protect you

for it is 4:38 AM and I am missing you

as you lie in the arms of Morpheus

and I see lights on across the street

Others are awake

as you slumber

Time drags on as I am alone

I cannot wait for you to awaken

to see the twinkle in your eye

and the tousled hair.

I miss you

as I sit here typing and

reading of other’s lives.

It is 4:45 AM

about two more hours

for you lie

in our bed of 33 years.

It is 4:46 AM

and time goes so slowly

as I count the hours

until you awaken.

You with your gentle voice

the pleasant voice

that helped so many

as you listened to their anguish

A healer I always said you were/are.

Almost 5 AM

and I miss you.

If I miss you this much now,

oh, and here come the tears,

what of the day or night

God takes one of us away.

Or could we be so lucky

to go in each other’s arms?

My morbid mind

destroying the present with

fearing the future

It is 4:54 AM

and you have arisen

to make water.

You will stop by to see me

and ask why I am up

and ask me when I will come back to bed.

You are gone again

having returned to

the embrace of sleep

For a second the thrill of you

all tousled and concerned

shot through me.

I will come join you

and look at the lights across the way

and wait if I can’t sleep

for you to awaken

and greet me with another day

as our shared time together

zips by with a vengeance now

my time with you.

5:03… eternity

the pain in my throat and head

throbbing

I should lie down

but it has been so long

since words have come

5:05 AM…5:10 AM

I feel chill

I feel pain

missing you.

5:11 AM

Let me go

lie next to you

and think of the wonder

of your presence

in our marital bed.

5:25 AM…