Point of View
It happens
every now and again
a psychotic break
reality blurred
thinking slurred
torrents of
uncried tears
MAJOR fears
choked inside
unable to open the door
to walk in the sun
or talk to someone
and then…
it passes
at least for this time
fractured mind
heals
and I emerge
purged
of demons
shaken but
crawling back
out of the dark
blinded by light
laden with guilt
over is it
unjustified anger
and justified hurts
or justified anger
and unjustified hurts
or no justification
just endless conflation
of swirls of emotion
that feed the
desire to die
I come
creeping back
confused lack
of any cohesion
into the world
of “reality”
or Maya
depending on
one’s point of view.
MOONSIDE 
your picture contains many drops of view, distorted images of reality, but each of them more sharp than the window itself.
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January 27, 2014 at 5:43 PM
And that is it– a fractured view of the world.
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January 28, 2014 at 9:06 AM
we all have this kind of fractured view …
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January 28, 2014 at 9:07 AM
Well, yes and no. Some views are more fractured than others. There is another “reality” in psychosis. It is the negative pole of altered states of consciousness. This other reality exists. When the TV and radio are giving you messages and the radio and the AC has a microphone that allows you to talk to the world and the people in the street– a cacaphony of voices telling you positive or negative things– that is the down side of this other “reality.” Everything has self-referential meaning. You are one step away from hearing voices except these voices are real, saying real things but those things all have meaning for you and you alone. Synchronicity is everywhere. A lower form of altered consciousness. That is fractured.
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January 28, 2014 at 9:25 AM
I think I understand. But I should experience it to actually know and realize how it is.
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January 28, 2014 at 10:52 AM
You may very well understand. I have no idea of your mental state. In any case, you have inspired me to write a post about the degrees of fragmentation and mental illnesses. Perhaps this is my mission. So thank you. You innocently touched a nerve and in doing so inspired.
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January 28, 2014 at 11:11 AM
ok 🙂 ‘smiling’
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January 28, 2014 at 11:21 AM
it has no logical justification – I believe it’s a neuro-chemical coping mechanism
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January 27, 2014 at 6:20 PM
I agree. It is neuro-chemical. Not so sure about the coping part but it very well might be.
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January 28, 2014 at 9:10 AM
Ellen
A sadly but realistic image layered with depths of emotion and thoughts. Whatever causes our ” breaks” in life, sometimes I think it is just a temporary set back to show us a part of our psyche that needs to show itself for our well being. Allowed to remain inside it would choke us. I am sorry for the pain and horror it brings. You are in my happy thoughts and place and love comes your way from there.
Yisraela
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January 27, 2014 at 6:31 PM
Thank you very much, Yisraela. There are “breaks” in life and breaks in mind. All is a learning experience. There is another world besides the one of so-called “reality.”
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January 28, 2014 at 9:08 AM
And yet there’s that small quiet space situated in the midst of it all where we can reflect for a moment – knowing where that space is, and able to find the way back to it…
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January 27, 2014 at 6:49 PM
Sometimes the way back is impossible to find. For some, impossible, and they remain at sea. I am a lucky one.
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January 28, 2014 at 9:15 AM
If Maya is diagnosed as ‘mental illness’ — than the big pharma companies sure have weakened everyone and replaced self-reflection, counseling, mediation, exercise, etc. with toxic drugs and fear that one’s mind is out of control and the only way to control it is with mind bending drugs.
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January 31, 2014 at 5:11 PM
Oops, typo: Meditation, although mediation is helpful, also.
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January 31, 2014 at 5:12 PM
I am sorry if I was unclear. I was not defining Maya as mental illness. Quite the opposite. I was referring to Maya as the consensual dream that people who are deemed normal call reality.
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January 31, 2014 at 9:23 PM
Ellen, your poem reminds me of my gentle father who had bipolar illness. He looked so exhausted after dropping into a deep depression following a full blown mania. When I visited him in the hospital, i sensed his need for just a hug and quietness. As he aged he got sick less.
Blessings ~ Wendy
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February 7, 2014 at 10:14 PM
Thank you, Wendy, for telling me about your father. I was told long ago that Bipolar Disorder improves with age. I am sure it was hard on you growing up. My mother had an undiagnosed and untreated mood disorder and that was hard. It sounds, though, that you had an understanding of him. Blessings always, Ellen
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February 8, 2014 at 12:08 AM
I measure the level, of the depth of quality, of a piece of writing by the number of times I read it. I read this numerous times, because with every reading, it offered me a bit more. The thoughts and feelings that you transfer, go beyond your chosen words.
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May 13, 2022 at 4:04 PM
That is one if the nicest, if not THE nicest comment anyone has ever written. Thank you so much. It means so much to me now because my health and my ability to write is gone. I am only taking photos now and only from home on the computer. You made my day. And SO many likes!!! Thank you. I am honored and will visit your blog. Thank you SO much! You are very kind!
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May 13, 2022 at 4:38 PM
I am glad I made your day. Be assured, it is rare for me give a complement of that calibre, it is not often that happens.
There is a lot to like, on your site and you cover many interesting topics. I see you as the type of person that could keep me engrossed for a long time. If I met you while I was waiting for a train, I would probably miss the train. 😊
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May 13, 2022 at 6:42 PM
I repeat… you are very kind. Thank you. I am exploring your blog and engrossed in it, too. You are a very interesting person. Let me explore some more. Thank you!
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May 13, 2022 at 7:45 PM
Thank you. My blog stats usually show “views per visitor” as one point something. Since your visit, it shows 15.67 views per visitor. Same time next month then? 🙂
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May 14, 2022 at 6:39 AM
The only stats I look at are likes for posts. I will look at your blog more extensively
but not in a flurry of views and likes. That is too like a manic state for me and I am searching for equilibrium. Trying but definitely not always succeeding to do so. Thank you, though, for exploring my blog and sending me a flurry of likes. I am very glad to have looked at yours in return.
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May 14, 2022 at 11:13 AM
The display that interests me the most, is what countries visit me. I put text under images, so the words used in images, can be translated. It is a Foreigner Friendly Blog. 🙂 USA is usually the biggest audience.
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May 14, 2022 at 4:47 PM
What country are you in?
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May 14, 2022 at 5:17 PM