Fears

The ER

Chest pain

shaky and

light in the head

go to bed

awaken

at 3 AM

pain in chest worse

down the arm

in the neck

nausea

to wake my husband

or not

decide not

decide to lie there

and see what happens

but first

write him a note

of my undying love

which he finds in the morning

when I am surprised

to find myself awake

husband says to the ER

urgent care center

OKAY

doctor there says ER

despite finding a normal EKG

I say NO

husband says YES

another taxi

to hell

get sent to “geri”

and wait

sitting on top of

sick people

afraid husband

will catch something

I in tears with fears

of being in this

overcrowded, overheated,

festering inferno

with screams

in the background

a man lying on the floor

after an hour or so

can take no more

tell husband

LEAVING

he says

OKAY

even he is spooked

I will never go back

not there

and this supposed to be

an advanced country

how dare we look down

on the developing world

with our pants down.

January 15, 2017 | Categories: Cityscapes, Life in New York City, OCD, Uncategorized | Tags: Death and dying, Developed countries, Emergencies, ERs, Fear of germs, Fears, Heart attacks, Medicine in the U.S., Third world countries | 28 Comments

In tears fighting fears, I prayed to God to speak to me and he did, moments later, through the beautiful words of Dennis Ference, at Merging Traffic…

Merging Traffic

battered and bullied
by fears that rage and roar
let us trust that we are
bigger than our fears
let us know that we are
so much more

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July 24, 2014 | Categories: Anxiety, Asperger's & Autism, Bipolar Disorder, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tags: Answered prayers, Anxiety, Dennis Ference, Fears, Fighting fears, Overcoming fears, Power of prayer, Prayers, Tears | Leave a comment

Starlight through the skylight
Moonlight just above the roof
Fireflies flickering flames
Random to our eyes
In a dizzying mercurial display
Flitting to the tune
Of trilling frogs
And the flutter of batwings
I see goblins in the windows
Alone would be terrified
With you here beatified
By the beauty of the silence
Punctuated by the frogs
Spotlighted by the moon
And the sparkling stars
Whose dust makes up
These rented bodies we carry
While inside heartbeats
Tick away our lives
To the beat of a flashing firefly
Or a flickering star.