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Beetle and Fly in Goldenrod
Fly in Asian Lily
Fly in Asian Lily
Fly in Asian Lily
Ladybugs in Weeds
Bee in Joe Pye Weed
Snail and Ant on Leaf
Spider? in Dahlia
Katydid in Wilting Dahlia
Butterfly in Joe Pye Weed
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Requiem for a Tree
It was hot and buggy and I was tired and cross, but my husband convinced me to plant the Impatiens right away because the next day was supposed to be hotter. So I did, mumbling and grumbling as I knelt down to dig up the earth. Every year we planted Impatiens around the Sugar Maple, the Queen of our trees, two trees in fact, each slanting in opposite directions in ever so pleasing ways. It was the showcase of our yard.
The bugs were buzzing around my face and it was humid as I dug deep into the rich soil around the tree and I was still irritable. But slowly the irritation started to give way as my hands enjoyed the damp, humid earth, and the magic of the tree took hold of me. I was filled with a sense of reverence. Under that tree it was hard not to feel the tranquility of the site, with birds singing and a heavy shade under her big, green leaves. In fact, we thought it such a peaceful spot we planted our dog’s ashes there. Dear Ko-ko was an indoor dog really but this place was so quiet and cool and private we thought she would be happy in the shady nook at the roots in back.
Soon all the Impatiens were planted and I was feeling exhilarated. The tree was happy with the plantings, I could feel it. She liked having her roots adorned with flowers and the pink, purple and violet Impatiens suited her. I felt, at the risk of sounding “out there,” the tree was thanking me.
It wasn’t the first time I felt communication with this tree. Often sitting out back and admiring her, I felt her kindly “vibes.” “The tree likes us,” I told my husband. No, it wasn’t the first time. Little did I suspect that it would be the last. We had been warned that a tree grown together with another is weak and experts had pronounced this tree a goner five years ago. But we hoped and prayed and my husband drove in fertilizers sticks around her with religious regularity.
I knew it would be like this. I had seen it in my mind. So when we drove in that night at twilight and my husband said, “The tree fell over,” I both knew it and felt shock. And knowing it did not stop the tears. We got out of the car and surveyed the damage. One tree, the one which had been hanging lower the past few weeks, had just keeled over, roots upright in the air. She got tired of living I guess. And already her leaves were beginning to dry out.
We both were upset. And I remembered as I lay in bed thinking of the tree, the fairy tale my Mother had read me long, long ago… The Little Fir Tree, about a fir tree that wants so badly to become a Christmas tree and go to a family’s home. He finally does get cut down and a family buys him and he is decorated royally and the center of attention. His happiness is short-lived however, for a few days after Christmas is over he is thrown out in a heap of trash and is miserable. I remember crying inconsolably over that story. A child’s tale one might say but over the years I have studied research, mostly Russian studies, that show that plants and trees are sentient beings, and can sense things like when their fellow trees or plants are being destroyed. So there was some kernel of truth in that fairy tale.
With soldiers and civilians dying daily across the world, or citizens of the world dying from the effects of climate change, and hunger, breaking the hearts of loved ones, it sounds silly crying for a tree. And yet, perhaps itis apt to mourn her, for in this world of violence, she was a thing of beauty, a magnanimous soul who gave the ordinary tree things: shade, cool in the summer, as a home for living things she was also a stage for watching birds and squirrels from our bedroom window… but most precious of all, she bestowed on all who knew her the priceless gift of PEACE!
My Former Life
In my former life I was a bee.
Why else would I keep sticking my nose
into the private, pollinated parts of flowers?
In my former life I was a turtle.
Why else would I hunch my shoulders
into a seeming shell, my back a carapace
to shield me from a sometimes dangerous world?
In my former life I loved thee.
How else could I account for my “knowing” you
from before the first time we met,
for “seeing” the you in your inner depths?
Some would say I risk damnation
for a belief in reincarnation.
Yet this answer satisfies me on so many levels
and requities my thirst, quieting my myriad of questions
that the old belief system did not.
Unpopular in the west,
woven into the fabric of life in the east
in which I clothe myself, sewn by a strong affinity,
a strange familiarity,
attraction mystifies.
Most…
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My Ant Lily
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Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
Sounds of Summer
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Coming out of the winter silence– a silence so deep that one can hear the sound of one’s own nervous system– slowly nature’s musicians warm up in Spring. Gradually they gather and by summer we are hearing the full orchestra of the wilderness. There are so many sounds, one might talk of layers of sound.
Distant sounds waft through the air like a bank of clouds floating towards us. We hear the raucous cry of a murder of crows flying over some carrion far off in the forest. We hear the dogs down the road barking at some intruder into their world. From deep inside the dark woods comes the unmistakable throaty call of a turkey. And from the field across the way, the cooing of a dove.
And then the sounds of nearness, so familiar perhaps we no longer notice them: The wind blowing through the dark green summer leaves, each type of tree with its distinctive rustle. The chirping of sparrows and other frequenters of the back yard. The whine of a pair of grackles. The frequent complaint of the ever-present blue jay. The crystalline voice of a yellow warbler singing an aria. The plaintiff cries of a gaggle of geese flying far above. While in a nest under the eaves fledglings squeak waiting to be fed.
Bumblebees buzz across the lawn, miraculously defying gravity with their weight and size. They mix with the menacing whirr of wasps in a huge nest overhead. Flies and mosquitos hum literally in our ears as the occasional vibrating zum of a humming bird, jewel-like in the sun, flies around in the Joe Pie Weed. Dragon and damsel flies whizz by and hover in the air, occasionally even landing on us. All this reaches our ears above the constant background drone of crickets and cicadas.
As the day progresses, the late afternoon brings the intermittent twang of wood frogs hidden in the bushes, calling to each other from all directions. It seems we are surrounded by wood frogs and tree frogs who have replaced the frenetic, unceasing peeps of the spring peepers. Bird song reaches a crescendo and then dies down to silence for the night. The day sounds are replaced at night by the haunting hoo-hoo of a very close, but invisible, owl. The occasional crying baby sound of a bobcat cuts through the cricketed silence, and in the full moon the poignant howling of coyote fills the black night air, illuminated by silent fireflies.
And then there are the sounds of man and his machines. Noise pollution. Lawn tractors, airplanes, cars on the road, all terrain vehicles, weed wackers, motorcycles, trucks, lawn mowers, steam shovels. The list continues and grows in strength drowning out nature’s sounds of summer. With natural habitat dwindling, all the creatures of the wilderness are dying out or moving to last holds of their breeding grounds. Villages have become cities, masses of land covered in concrete and asphalt and steel, punctuated by tiny pockets of manicured nature.
Certain species of frog are becoming extinct around the world. The bee populations are dwindling leaving us to wonder who will pollinate the flowers. And the songbirds are dying out. Conservation biologist, Bridget Stutchbury in her book, Silence of the Songbirds, says this is partially due to habitat loss and predation but she believes the real culprit is pesticides. She says we are losing barn swallows, Eastern kingbirds, Kentucky warblers, bobolinks and wood thrushes. Pesticide can kill 7 to 25 songbirds per acre of application. As Stutchbury says we can stop this destruction by buying local and organic produce, in-season food and shade-grown coffee. As she points out, the balance of ecosystems is at stake because birds eat the caterpillars that fell forests. “If you take birds out of the forest, bugs are going to win.”
Though the current state of affairs looks grim there are activities one can do online to safeguard the future of the wilderness and its inhabitants. On one website you can click for free every day to give food and aid to animals. The address is http://www.animalrescuesite.com. On other websites, if you click on the “take action” button you can become involved in lobbying for animal rights and conservation of the wilderness with a modicum of effort, signing a letter, for example. And although you absolutely don’t have to, you can always make a donation. A select group follows …
http://www.sierraclub.org (The Sierra Club)
http://animallegaldefensefund.org (The Animal Legal Defense Fund)
http://farmsanctuary.com (The Farm Sanctuary)
http://www.peta.org (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
http://humanesociety.org (The Humane Society)
http://defendersofwildlife.com (Defenders of Wildlife)
Add your voice to the sounds of summer, speak for those who can not, and insure the future of the symphonies of summer.
Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
Blue Hills, Magenta Sky Reflected
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Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
Submerged Cow
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Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
Bolt of Sky
Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
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Spring Green Intensifying
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Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
Our Prehistoric Visitor Returns
Last year I wrote about our special visitor, Shelley, who has appeared in our driveway around Memorial Day for the past three years to lay her eggs in the exact same spot. Shelley, to introduce her once again, is a large snapping turtle with a muddy, mossy shell and a long jagged tail. In my ignorance the first year she came I tried to save her from getting run over, while all the time unbeknownst to me, she was trying to find the right spot on the side of the road to lay her eggs. Good-natured, she took my meddling in stride and only gently snapped once after the third time I had returned her to the marsh out in back of our house in a snow shovel. Only then did I realize what she was up to. Shelley communicated simply and without malice. Shelley was a class act.
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Every year, according to some inner time mechanism, Shelley would come early in the morning to lay her eggs in the swale in the corner of our driveway. A big snapper, she, majestic in her reptilian grandeur. Her shell measured (yes, we measured it) 13 inches, but like all snappers her head juts out of the shell about 4 inches and her spiked, dinosaur-looking tail adds on another 5 inches or so.
This year we checked our driveway early each morning worrying as trucks barreled by dangerously close to where she has laid her eggs in the past. Days went by. No Shelley. Judging by the size of her shell and the speed of her gait, Shelley was not young. Each year we saw her Shelley was walking slower and slower. We wondered if she made it through the winter.
In addition, in the early spring her pond was dug up and drained by the new owner to make it deeper and with each dig of the steam shovel we imagined our snapper being snapped up.
Memorial Day came and went and each day was sunny. Shelley liked overcast days to lay her eggs. The very last day of May was a perfect day for laying eggs, overcast and humid. We checked our driveway. No Shelley. We checked up and down the road. No Shelley. My husband didn’t say anything but disappointment and worry were written on his face. I was feeling worried, too.
We held our breath and waited. And then…
We first noticed her at 6:30 in the morning and watched her as she spent the next 3 hours or so looking for a suitable spot to lay her eggs, digging a hole for them, and then depositing them in the hole. She picked the same spot she picks every year after much mulling around and searching.
It was a delight to see those mighty claws dig a deep hole and then the back feet dig deeper. She rested for awhile and we took pictures which she did not seem to mind. Then we left to give her privacy and the back of her rocked from side to side as she deposited the eggs.
Normally she takes a hair-raising walk crisscrossing a somewhat busy road and I accompany her to make sure no car hits her. But this year she surprised us yet again and took the safer route across our back yard, after a few false starts (stopping at our front door).
Though she could have taken an easier route in our yard, she followed a stream in back of our house following a logic that has worked for 200 million years. Maneuvering over large rocks and crawling between crevices that looked impossibly narrow, we were not sure she could make it home and were wondering how we would rescue her.
We were the fools. She arrived triumphantly and magnificently in her exhausted state in the marsh on our side of the pond and quickly submerged herself under the mud until she was no longer visible, a living submarine.
After her departure we felt sad. We can only assume this brave lady made it home to her now-deeper pond having survived despite the hand of man and the worry of her next door neighbors. The brilliant naturalist and “turtle man”, David M. Carroll, explains the tinge of sadness we felt after seeing Shelley lay her eggs when he writes in his Self-Portrait with Turtles: a Memoir: “The furtive turtles were utterly silent in their nesting, but the sandy fields and road edges somehow seemed to go quiet with their departure.” Shelley’s departure meant a break in our one-sided bond with her and David Carroll sheds light so poetically on our experience of loss when he writes of his relentless study of turtles: “Through these children of the sun’s dialogue with the earth I could continue to pass out of human time and place and enter the soul of the seasons.” That was Shelley’s gift to us.
Welcome to samples of my work in various art forms showcasing “Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things.” “Eye-locks” is a Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir in narrative form that describes the triumph of love over mental illness.
MOONSIDE 
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