Notes from a Very Noisy Mind
Presence. Stay in present. Stop projecting into future. Stop the negative daydreams. Worse than nightmares. “What if”, “what if”,”what if” ad infinitum. Put ice yogurt on grocery list. Add potatoes.as the crow flies
From my friend, Tiramit, over at Dhamma Footsteps… pure poetry…
POSTCARD #211: Delhi/Bangkok flight: I arrived at the place and couldn’t remember how exactly I came to be there except for the journey returning to me in flashes; scanned by X-ray machines, identified, processed, held in aircraft cabin pressure for 4 hours… then look out the window and see small green rice fields with water everywhere; 1800 miles southeast on the Asia map as the crow flies.
Placed on the ground and I have to get my things quickly, put together the parts of who I think I am in this new context of a day I missed the beginning of, and things out there are just happening anyway. Extraordinary, even so – catching up on the rebound, the momentum of the journey, the sense of something recharged, action endowed with purpose because I’ve arrived in what remains of a day that belongs to other people, those who have…
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Dropping Dead
Jack Kornfield reads a poem on the finiteness of life while talking about meditation practice (3:26 min.)
“One Day at a Time”
At one point in my life I was just trying to get through one hour at a time. Actually I have vivid memories of it sometimes being 15 minutes at time in which I would be praying to God in utter desperation. Such times could come again but I would hope to be stronger if, or more likely, when they return.
Fleet-footed moments of heart-stopping anxiety visit far too often even now, maybe just to keep me in practice. Uncontrolled thoughts of a scary future fraught with frets and worries frequent my mind, “pissing on the present,” as they say. These visitations may be the by-product of Bipolar Disorder and/or my Asperger’s Syndrome. In any case, my current goal is to learn “mindfulness” through meditation to correct this distortion of time and consciousness.
Long the slogan of A.A. and other methods of recovery, “one day at a time” can also be a celebration of, and desire for, peace– world peace, as well as inner peace. Yusuf/Cat Stevens expresses this poetically, as always, in his song, “One Day at a Time,” in this video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Xpa7pNKRc&feature=channel&list=UL
(Click http://www.independentauthornetwork.com/ellen-stockdale-wolfe.html for information on, and to purchase my Bipolar/Asperger’s memoir.)
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