Prayer of Despair


Oh God,

where art thou?

I feel Thee not near me

clouds obscure Thy light

fields lie barren like my soul

Love was in my heart

but I feel it not

all is obscured

Pain and illness

shroud all light

in shadows of darkness

joy but a faint memory

as the mountains

in the grey distance

hope is out of season

bountiful is despair

a sin


I sin the sin of darkness

and wish I could blend

into the greyness

and retire

into nothingness

Oh God,

forgive my ingratitude

for my many blessings

now shrouded in the night

so I can no longer see

Come to me

breathe life into my soul again

and let me see Thy Light

let me see love again

it was there

how does it seem to vanish

and take with it all hope

for why else is there to live?

16 responses

  1. plaintive and moving


    January 24, 2014 at 12:01 PM

  2. Raw honesty of the heart in the midst of despair, but as the photo displays, somehow Light is always there, and the darkness cannot extinguish it. This is a piece filled with pathos, Ellen. Blessings, Dee


    January 24, 2014 at 1:54 PM

    • Thank you so much, Dee, for such a lovely comment! I tried to be honest. Blessings to you as well, Ellen


      January 24, 2014 at 4:32 PM

  3. i’d like to have you on my spotlight, if you’d allow me. it is where i keep my favorite bloggers and their lovely posts.


    January 24, 2014 at 9:41 PM

    • How lovely! I would be honored, Marlyn. I have seen this on your blog. You are most kind. Thank you and blessings, Ellen


      January 25, 2014 at 7:40 AM

  4. Oh Ellen, you have put to words so poignantly and so elegantly a place that I have been to in seasons past. It truly does seem as if “hope is out of season” at low points in our life. This is when we need others to hope for us and sprinkle the glitter of golden faith upon the dark path so we can see just enough to walk in Light again.

    Blessings ~ Wendy


    January 25, 2014 at 2:41 PM

    • I am glad what I wrote rings true. But what you wrote in your comment is beautiful– about golden faith– really beautiful like the rest of your writing. Blessings to you, Ellen


      January 25, 2014 at 4:51 PM

  5. beautiful rays 🙂


    January 26, 2014 at 3:46 AM

    • Oh, Joshi, thank you so much. As I have said before, I admire your photographs so much, it means a great deal to me that you write a comment about my efforts.


      January 26, 2014 at 11:09 AM

  6. Beautiful, I totally relate.


    January 26, 2014 at 6:18 AM

    • Thank you, that makes writing that post all worthwhile. And is encouraging. I floundering around at sea and your reaction might be a sign of which direction I must go.


      January 26, 2014 at 11:04 AM

  7. Universe is everywhere, hence no center to point, or direction to send our thoughts of despair. I have noticed that It listens to the deepest cries of our soul. It teaches us how to find our own food, but only seldom feeds us freely.


    January 27, 2014 at 5:52 PM

  8. It is images like that that remind me always that I am never alone. The power and beauty of such creations can only mean there is One greater than I. He is always not far


    January 27, 2014 at 6:55 PM

  9. Genie

    These are negative affirmations, Ellen. It only adds to the suffering. Smile, even when you don’t feel like it — it will change a mood. If you change the negative affirmations, God will not have to come and rescue you. Helplessness is crippling, especially when a person is having mental and emotional challenges. Many prayers are a cover for learned helplessness and then God is supposed to ‘fix it’.


    January 31, 2014 at 5:19 PM

    • Thank you for your advice and viewpoint. It is helpful to see my thoughts as negative affirmations and constantly try to stop them and make them positive. Not easy being Bipolar and Aspie with physical illnesses as well. But I will try. Thank you for caring and taking the time to comment.


      January 31, 2014 at 9:20 PM

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