Posts tagged “Despair

The Dawn of Hope and the Hope of Dawn


I await the dawn
rigid with anxiety
each minute an hour
as you sleep beside me
lost in the land of Morpheus.
I cannot rest,
try talking to God
cannot hear Him.
Where is He?
No Presence felt
inside my icy heart.
Do the birds wait
like me, in despair,
for that first magenta burst
of the high and mighty sun?
Then when the first light comes
you awaken and bring tea,
I put my hand on your back
to bless you with Reiki,
as we lounge together drinking warmth.
And I feel God’s presence
and I feel joy and peace and love,
all snug in bed with you and God…
It is for these few special moments
I live.

Prayer of Despair


Oh God,

where art thou?

I feel Thee not near me

clouds obscure Thy light

fields lie barren like my soul

Love was in my heart

but I feel it not

all is obscured

Pain and illness

shroud all light

in shadows of darkness

joy but a faint memory

as the mountains

in the grey distance

hope is out of season

bountiful is despair

a sin


I sin the sin of darkness

and wish I could blend

into the greyness

and retire

into nothingness

Oh God,

forgive my ingratitude

for my many blessings

now shrouded in the night

so I can no longer see

Come to me

breathe life into my soul again

and let me see Thy Light

let me see love again

it was there

how does it seem to vanish

and take with it all hope

for why else is there to live?



“Sound and light affect our consciousness, for we (like them) are composed of vibrations.”

Paramahansa Yogananda

Beware the enticements of worldliness

lest it lead you to the frazzle of despair.

Look behind the Light of nature,

and let the eyes be

 bedazzled by the Beauty

of God hiding there.

Oh Dying Lily


Oh, Lily

in the valley

of despair,

the devil’s lair,

thou seemeth to be shy

with your glossy, glassy tears.

One day we all must die

and we all have fulsome fears

of dying.

It is not

for lack of trying

 your life to live;

it is not from sins of lying

or reluctance to give.

You lived your life purely,

always kneeling demurely,

and though your petals turn to crepe

your form still has a humble drape,

still praising He who made you

in your last living days

and inspiring us to follow suit

in your reverent ways.

Fighting Back Against Death

It was great to see her even though

she teeters precariously on the brink between life and death.

It was great to see her even though

she struggles to talk, highly frustrated that she cannot.

It was great to see her even though

her body is shrunken into the tortured form of a little girl .

It was great to see her even though

she has a feeding tube and is black and blue all over.

It was great to see her even though

we do not know whether she wants to live like this or die,

or which is best.

It was great to see her even though

her suffering is so painful to watch that her highly devoted  husband cannot face it.

It was great to see her even though

once more the future seems bleak and black and I rail against God.

It was great to see her even though, and despite everything,

she cried when she heard we were coming, and she smiled when she saw us,

as we stroked her hair.

It was great to see her, because this may be our last visit

and yet she smiled when we said we’d come back to see her again.

It was great to see her, because even death lurking in the shadows,

cannot snatch away the memory of her happiness to see us.


Homage to Bergman

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