I await the dawn
rigid with anxiety
each minute an hour
as you sleep beside me
lost in the land of Morpheus.
I cannot rest,
try talking to God
cannot hear Him.
Where is He?
No Presence felt
inside my icy heart.
Do the birds wait
like me, in despair,
for that first magenta burst
of the high and mighty sun?
Then when the first light comes
you awaken and bring tea,
I put my hand on your back
to bless you with Reiki,
as we lounge together drinking warmth.
And I feel God’s presence
and I feel joy and peace and love,
all snug in bed with you and God…
It is for these few special moments
I live.
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January 25, 2016 | Categories: Animal & Landscape Photographs, Anxiety, Asperger's and Love, Black and White Photography, Nature Photography, Poetry, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tags: Anxiety, Birds, Dawn, Depression, Despair, God, Hope, Love, Mornings, Prayer, Pre-dawn, Presence, Sleep, Sun, Sunrise | 24 Comments
Oh God,
where art thou?
I feel Thee not near me
clouds obscure Thy light
fields lie barren like my soul
Love was in my heart
but I feel it not
all is obscured
Pain and illness
shroud all light
in shadows of darkness
joy but a faint memory
as the mountains
in the grey distance
hope is out of season
bountiful is despair
a sin
yes
I sin the sin of darkness
and wish I could blend
into the greyness
and retire
into nothingness
Oh God,
forgive my ingratitude
for my many blessings
now shrouded in the night
so I can no longer see
Come to me
breathe life into my soul again
and let me see Thy Light
let me see love again
it was there
how does it seem to vanish
and take with it all hope
for why else is there to live?
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January 24, 2014 | Categories: Animal & Landscape Photographs, Bipolar Disorder, Depression and Mania, Mood Photographs, Nature Photography, Poetry | Tags: Bipolar Depression, Dark night of the soul, Depression, Despair, Illness, Landscape Photography, Love, Manic Depression, Mood disorders, Pain, Prayer, Winter landscape | 16 Comments
“Sound and light affect our consciousness, for we (like them) are composed of vibrations.”
Paramahansa Yogananda
Beware the enticements of worldliness
lest it lead you to the frazzle of despair.
Look behind the Light of nature,
and let the eyes be
bedazzled by the Beauty
of God hiding there.
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January 8, 2014 | Categories: Abstract Photography, Light Photography, Meditations, Nature Photography, Paramahansa Yogananda Quotes | Tags: Despair, God in Nature, Light, Light in Art, Light in Photography, Nature photography, Paramahansa Yogananda, Spirituality, Sunlight, Worldliness | 18 Comments
Oh, Lily
in the valley
of despair,
the devil’s lair,
thou seemeth to be shy
with your glossy, glassy tears.
One day we all must die
and we all have fulsome fears
of dying.
It is not
for lack of trying
your life to live;
it is not from sins of lying
or reluctance to give.
You lived your life purely,
always kneeling demurely,
and though your petals turn to crepe
your form still has a humble drape,
still praising He who made you
in your last living days
and inspiring us to follow suit
in your reverent ways.
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June 8, 2013 | Categories: Flowers, Macro Photography, Nature Photography, Poetry | Tags: Anxiety, Death, Despair, Fear, Fear of Death, Flowers, Humility, Lily of the Valley, Spirituality | 21 Comments
It was great to see her even though
she teeters precariously on the brink between life and death.
It was great to see her even though
she struggles to talk, highly frustrated that she cannot.
It was great to see her even though
her body is shrunken into the tortured form of a little girl .
It was great to see her even though
she has a feeding tube and is black and blue all over.
It was great to see her even though
we do not know whether she wants to live like this or die,
or which is best.
It was great to see her even though
her suffering is so painful to watch that her highly devoted husband cannot face it.
It was great to see her even though
once more the future seems bleak and black and I rail against God.
It was great to see her even though, and despite everything,
she cried when she heard we were coming, and she smiled when she saw us,
as we stroked her hair.
It was great to see her, because this may be our last visit
and yet she smiled when we said we’d come back to see her again.
It was great to see her, because even death lurking in the shadows,
cannot snatch away the memory of her happiness to see us.
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February 17, 2013 | Categories: Loss | Tags: Anger at God, Death and dying, Despair, Hospital visits, loss, Sickness, Visiting the sick and dying | 5 Comments
